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The risks of dangerous sports

The risks of dangerous sports pR1nw
Dear Editor, I am writing in response to your request to write about my views and opinion on dangerous sports. I will be talking about why I think these sports are threatening and explaining why I believe it to be so. There are a lot of people who enjoy doing sports. Despite those threats to our lives, some people still do them. From my perspective these sports are dangerous because doing them can cause problems like injuries that can be hard to recover from. Even if they have safety precautions there is still a high possibility of getting wounded and even getting trauma that stays with you for the rest of your life. Another disadvantage to these sports would be the expenses. If life threatening dangers are not enough of a reason to some people then maybe the high costs will be. In other words, some sports require taking with you your own equipment which can be really expensive and not always available. If these downsides are not enough to change someone’s mind then they should be careful when doing the extreme sport they choose. Firstly it should be taken into consideration if the person can actually do it. Some people have heart conditions or any other health problems that can stop them from doing any sports at all. Therefore those people should not engage with these kinds of activities. Secondly a person should be aware of the dangers the chosen sport brings. Equip with all that is needed and be informed of all things that are important to be known. In conclusion, always be ready for anything when you want to do dangerous sports. This does not mean that it will always fail just to be on the lookout. Each person is responsible for their own lives and should know if they can or cannot do something.
Dear Editor,

I am writing in response to your request to write about my views and opinion on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. I will be talking about why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are threatening and explaining why I believe it to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Despite those threats to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
do them.

From my perspective these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
them can cause problems like injuries that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to recover from. Even if they have safety precautions there is
still
a high possibility of getting wounded and even getting trauma that stays with you for the rest of your life.

Another disadvantage to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
would be the expenses. If life threatening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
of a reason to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
then maybe the high costs will be.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
require taking with you your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
equipment which can be
really
expensive and not always available.

If these downsides are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
someone’s mind then they should be careful when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
the extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
they choose.
Firstly
it should
be taken
into consideration if the person can actually do it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have heart conditions or any other health problems that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
at all.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not engage with these kinds of activities.
Secondly
a person should be aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
the chosen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
brings. Equip with all that
is needed
and
be informed
of all things that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
be known
.

In conclusion
,
The adverb 'always' usually goes after the verb 'be'.
always be
ready for anything when you want to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. This does not mean that it will always fail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to be on the lookout. Each person is responsible for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and should know if they can or cannot do something.
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IELTS letter The risks of dangerous sports

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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