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The following appeared in a newsletter to Canbury s residents from the president of Plexma Motors I am pleased to announce that Plexma s new manufacturing site is on schedule to open next year In addition to our regular line of cars Plexma has also begun

The following appeared in a newsletter to Canbury s residents from the president of Plexma Motors I am pleased to announce that Plexma s new manufacturing site is on schedule to open next year In addition to our regular line of cars Plexma has also begun WyGpa
The author of the above passage recommends that Cadbury's residents should vote to allow Plexma to begin manufacturing and selling self-driving cars in Canbury. However, the argument is unpersuasive to allow stated argument, because it is based on several questionable assumptions. The following essay will discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on the passage are reasonable. First of all the author assumes that the cited recent survey is reliable, however, this may not be the case. The survey shows only partial information about the survey participants. The survey said 60percent of residents will likely to buy a car in the near future. However, without the whole number of the participants, ration only is not a reliable statistic. If the population of the survey is not large enough, 60% of the positive answer is not enough to support the author's argument. Moreover, if the residents participate in the survey are not the people from Canbury, this results could not represent the opinion of Canbury residents. Also, the expression 'in the future' is a vague expression that needs more accurate definition. 'in the future' could be tomorrow or 3years later, especially in case of purchasing expensive products such as a self-driving car. For this reason, the writer should not readily conclude that the survey report is reliable without further questions asking the descriptive information regarding participants, and more detailed date of the 'future'. Second, the author argues that their vehicles are safe, based on a last summer experiment reports. However, the information suggested in the above passage may also be flawed. In the passage, the experiment done last summer had a great success. Even the definition of great success itself is vague, but also the detailed information are groundless too. Tested vehicles are only 5, and surely, this is not enough number to evaluate the safety of a normal vehicle. Considering that this car is new type of car, more than 30 cars need to be tested. Also, 2 months of driving is not enough to draw a general trend of the vehicle's driving safety. To figure out whether this car is really safe or not further driving test would be needed. And, like I mentioned above paragraph, the whole population of the Canbury residents and the population of the participants need to be asked too, to find out this report really represent the major population of Canbury town. Therefore, in order to judge if the experiment was really successful, further proof questioning such as cited information is necessary. In conclusion, further questions asking more detailed evidence required for an adequate assessment or a more persuasive argument.
The author of the above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
recommends that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cadbury
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
should vote to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
Possible spelling mistake found.
Plexma
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
manufacturing and selling self-driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Canbury
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is unpersuasive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
stated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
is based
on several questionable assumptions. The following essay will discuss what questions would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be answered
in order to decide whether the recommendation and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
are reasonable.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
the author assumes that the cited recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
is reliable,
however
, this may not be the case. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
partial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
said 60percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
will likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
in the near future.
However
, without the whole number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
, ration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is not a reliable statistic. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
is not large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
, 60% of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
answer is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
to support the author's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
.
Moreover
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
participate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Canbury
,
Did you mean "these"?
this
results could not represent the opinion of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Canbury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
.
Also
, the expression 'in the future' is a vague expression that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
more accurate definition. '
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the future' could be tomorrow or 3years later,
especially
in case of purchasing expensive products such as a self-driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
For this reason
, the writer should not
readily
conclude that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
report is reliable without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
questions asking the descriptive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
, and more detailed date of the 'future'.

Second, the author argues that their vehicles are safe, based on a last summer experiment reports.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
suggested in the above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
may
also
be flawed
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
, the experiment done last summer had a great success. Even the definition of great success itself is vague,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the detailed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
are groundless too.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Tested
vehicles are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5, and
surely
, this is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
number to evaluate the safety of a normal vehicle. Considering that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is new type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, more than 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
.
Also
, 2 months of driving is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
to draw a general trend of the vehicle's driving safety. To figure out whether this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is
really
safe or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
would
be needed
. And, like I mentioned above paragraph, the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Canbury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be asked
too, to find out this report
really
represent the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Canbury
town.
Therefore
, in order to judge if the experiment was
really
successful,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
proof questioning such as cited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is necessary.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
questions asking more detailed evidence required for an adequate assessment or a more persuasive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
.
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IELTS letter The following appeared in a newsletter to Canbury s residents from the president of Plexma Motors I am pleased to announce that Plexma s new manufacturing site is on schedule to open next year In addition to our regular line of cars Plexma has also begun

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
447 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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