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The first of October is the day of teachers and coaches' professions.

The first of October is the day of teachers and coaches' professions. d3o8K

Dear my teachers! First of all, I would like to sincerely congratulate you, all educators working in the field of education, on the Day of Teachers and Coaches, and express my best wishes. Indeed, the hard work and courage of teachers and coaches, who dedicate their eyes, hearts and minds to the upbringing of the younger generation, deserves any high praise. We have been entrusted with the greatest wealth of our people - the fate of millions of our children, our dear sons and daughters, the future of Uzbekistan. And it is worthwhile to express our gratitude to the selfless people like you, who are fulfilling this task responsibly, to the creators of the future. I wish you blessings.

Dear my teachers!

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".First
First of all
, I would like to sincerely
 congratulate you, all educators working in the field of education, on the Day of Teachers and Coaches, and express my best wishes.

Indeed
, the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :arduous
hard
 work and courage of teachers and coaches, who dedicate their eyes, hearts and minds to the upbringing of the younger generation, deserves any high praise.

We have been entrusted
 with the greatest wealth of our This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.—
-
 the fate of millions of our children, our dear sons and daughters, the future of Uzbekistan. And it is worthwhile to express our gratitude to the selfless This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 like you, who are fulfilling this task responsibly
, to the creators of the future. I wish you blessings. 

IELTS letter The first of October is the day of teachers and coaches' professions.

Letter

American English

4 paragraphs

119 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.5

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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