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apply for the course of Erasmus+ International Credit Mobility project between University of Calabria (UNICAL) and Hanoi University (HANU), Vietnam.

apply for the course of Erasmus+ International Credit Mobility project between University of Calabria (UNICAL) and Hanoi University (HANU), Vietnam. B7lkp
Dear Erasmus committee, My name is Le Hoang Yen and I am currently studying at Hanoi university as a student of FMT. Now I am motivated to apply for the course of Erasmus+ International Credit Mobility project between University of Calabria (UNICAL) and Hanoi University (HANU), Vietnam. In my point of view, this program is a huge opportunity for me to have a chance to experience a new learning environment and expand my knowledge, which is mainly about the international financial situations for my further awareness of finance fields. Furthermore, I am interested in learning and finding out about the world financial system and operation. Therefore, my wish to apply for this course is especially important for me and I am very eager to adapt and know more about this field. Since my first year at university, I have found a part-time job and applied as a teaching assistant for Apollo English Center which is located in Hanoi, Vietnam. During this time, I can say that I am more confident in management and communication. In addition, English is a compulsory language in the center, thus, I can communicate with native speakers and understand more about foreign countries' culture while I am working plus with studying English in my university. With all my efforts, I am honored and received two certificates of being a good teaching assistant in summer courses for the children in Apollo center. So this course is a great opportunity for me to learn another new language which is Italian and I will be attempting to accomplish all qualifications in the near future. Beside that, during the time in my university, I am concentrating on investigating further in this field, specifically the world economic and financial aspects, so that I wish to widen my knowledge of the world financial systems and operation through this programme.
Dear Erasmus committee,

My name is Le
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hoang
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Yen and
I am
currently
studying at Hanoi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
as a student of FMT.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I
am motivated
to apply for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
of Erasmus+ International Credit Mobility project between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Calabria
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNICAL
) and Hanoi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
HANU
), Vietnam.

In my point of view, this program is a huge opportunity for me to have a chance to experience a new learning environment and expand my knowledge, which is
mainly
about the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
situations for my
further
awareness of finance fields.
Furthermore
, I
am interested
in learning and finding out about the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
system and operation.
Therefore
, my wish to apply for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
me and
I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
eager to adapt and know more about this field.

Since my
first
year at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, I have found a part-time job and applied as a teaching assistant for Apollo English Center which
is located
in Hanoi, Vietnam. During this time, I can say that I am more confident in management and communication.
In addition
, English is a compulsory language in the center,
thus
, I can communicate with native speakers and understand more about foreign countries' culture while I am working plus with studying English in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. With all my efforts, I
am honored
and received two certificates of being a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
teaching assistant in summer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
for the children in Apollo center.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is a great opportunity for me to learn another new language which is Italian and I will be attempting to accomplish all qualifications in the near future. Beside that, during the time in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, I am concentrating on investigating
further
in this field,
specifically
the world economic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
aspects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I wish to widen my knowledge of the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
systems and operation through this
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
.

IELTS letter apply for the course of Erasmus+ International Credit Mobility project between University of Calabria (UNICAL) and Hanoi University (HANU), Vietnam.

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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