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telling a friend about camping

telling a friend about camping RwG3P
Dear Joey, I am writing in response to the perfect news I heard that you are thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time. As you may remember, I have experienced summer camping several times. First of all, outspanning in this time of the year in the suburb, helps you get rid of tropical weather in our city. Besides, deeds like tenting, lighting up fire and barbecuing are some adventures that evokes our instinct of loving nature. On the contrary, there are some difficulties too. At night, the temperature falls significantly, so you need to bring warm clothes, a blanket and a sleeping bag with you. In addition, nature is the habitat of various animals, including small insects or big bears. You may think that big animals are the real dangers, but in my opinion, small creatures like insects are much more annoying. If they get any chance to enter your tent, that would be a real disaster. Remembering my previous experience of camping motivated me to try it again. So I want to ask you kindly, is there any chance for me to accompany you in the following event or not? Please, let me know if you need further information about the topic and I look forward to your kind reply. Love, Amir
Dear Joey,

I am writing in response to the perfect news I heard that you are thinking of going on a camping holiday for the
first
time.

As you may remember, I have experienced summer camping several times.
First of all
,
outspanning
in this time of the year in the suburb,
helps
you
get
rid of tropical weather in our city.
Besides
, deeds like tenting, lighting up fire and barbecuing are
some
adventures that evokes our instinct of loving nature.

On the contrary
, there are
some
difficulties too. At night, the temperature falls
significantly
,
so
you need to bring warm clothes, a blanket and a sleeping bag with you.
In addition
, nature is the habitat of various animals, including
small
insects or
big
bears. You may
think
that
big
animals are the real
dangers
,
but
in my opinion,
small
creatures like insects are much more annoying. If they
get
any chance to enter your tent, that would be a real disaster.

Remembering my previous experience of camping motivated me to try it again.
So
I want to ask you kindly, is there any chance for me to accompany you in the following
event
or not?

Please
,
let
me know if you need
further
information about the topic and I look forward to your kind reply.

Love
,

Amir
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IELTS letter telling a friend about camping

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
216 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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