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Suggesting a friend for job instead of college

Suggesting a friend for job instead of college 0ME2Q
Dear John, It's tremendous that you were able to complete your basic education. I am feeling honored that you are considering my advice to find out the direction for the future. As I understand, School gives us a good foundation, and joining a college may provide advancement. Also, you will love the feeling of going to college. On the contrary, looking at the culture of the colleges present in our locality, you might not enjoy or even learn something new. Instead of this, you should try to get a job with the growing industries around, this will give you great exposure to the real world work ethics, and eventually, you will enhance all development aspects. Industries like marketing, courier services, and a few which are related to computers. Computer industries are the future, and working for them would be an ideal opportunity. In my opinion, you should try finding a job with these companies. Wishing you great luck. I know you are an extremely talented person who will surely do wonders. Yours Faithful, Akshay
Dear John,

It's tremendous that you were able to complete your basic education. I am feeling honored that you are considering my advice to find out the direction for the future.

As I understand, School gives us a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
foundation, and joining a college may provide advancement.
Also
, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
the feeling of going to college.
On the contrary
, looking at the culture of the colleges present in our locality, you might not enjoy or even learn something new.

Instead
of this, you should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job with the growing industries around, this will give you great exposure to the real world work ethics, and
eventually
, you will enhance all development aspects.

Industries like marketing, courier services, and a few which
are related
to computers. Computer industries are the future, and working for them would be an ideal opportunity. In my opinion, you should try finding a job with these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Wishing you great luck. I know you are an
extremely
talented person who will
surely
do wonders.

Yours Faithful,

Akshay
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IELTS letter Suggesting a friend for job instead of college

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
173 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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