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Subject: Applying for the Hungary scholarship program

Subject: Applying for the Hungary scholarship program 0Brn5
Dear Sir or Madam: With this letter, I would like to express my interest in studying in Hungary to profit from the scholarship program. I am currently studying Master’s Degree program in Electrical engineering at Hassan II University in Morocco. I was very delighted to find the opportunity to spend one semester learning geography at the University of XY. I have decided to apply for this program because I am sure it would strongly enrich my future studies and help me in my prospective career. Moreover I consider this program as a great opportunity to get in touch with Hungary culture and educational system. Last but not least, I am very curious about different approaches to the geography at the foreign university. I have three reasons why I want to complete my studies in Hungary, the first is that my friend currently he went to hangar, he told about the rate and the mythology of studying there, how the Hungary government take care the student, how it gives facilities to flourish and develop the academic career student, this, push me to be zealous to continue my academic career. the second reason that, studying abroad my culture will make my soul alive and free, I don’t like the routine, this opportunity will make me challenge a new environment of studies full of knowledge. the third reason that the opportunity will make return to my country with a strong capital of knowledge and self confidence to search a good job. I would very much like to continue my research studies in Hungary. This would give me a chance to deepen my knowledge inspiration, creativity, scientific innovation in a cosmopolitan environment Sir, I would be extremely grateful to you, if you consider my profile for the Scholarship Program because it may bring a great brightness for my upcoming and professional working knowledge. Sara Elgaily
Dear Sir or Madam: With this letter, I would like to express my interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in Hungary to profit from the scholarship
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
. I am
currently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
Master’s Degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
in Electrical engineering at Hassan II University in Morocco. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
delighted to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to spend one semester learning geography at the University of
Possible spelling mistake found.
XY
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have decided to apply for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I am sure it would
strongly
enrich my future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me in my prospective career.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
I consider this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
as a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with Hungary culture and educational system. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
curious about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
approaches to the geography at the foreign university. I have three reasons why I want to complete my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in Hungary, the
first
is that my friend
currently
he went to hangar, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
about the rate and the mythology of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
there, how the Hungary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
take care the student, how it gives facilities to flourish and develop the academic career student, this, push me to be zealous to continue my academic career.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
second reason that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad my culture will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my soul alive and free, I don’t like the routine, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me challenge a new environment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
full of knowledge.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
third reason that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
return to my country with a strong capital of knowledge and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
to search a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job. I would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much like to continue my research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in Hungary. This would give me a chance to deepen my knowledge inspiration, creativity, scientific innovation in a cosmopolitan environment Sir, I would be
extremely
grateful to you, if you consider my profile for the Scholarship
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Program
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may bring a great brightness for my upcoming and professional working knowledge.

Sara
Possible spelling mistake found.
Elgaily
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IELTS letter Subject: Applying for the Hungary scholarship program

Letter
  American English
2 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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