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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? egPp
Dear Jerome, Hope you are well today, I am writing a letter in regards to the complaint about the noise from our house. Last night dated October 20, my family and I were celebrating my 25th birthday, we had a small party that includes family and some of my co-workers. At the party, we have a dance contest and singing contest that was suggested by my visitors. We used a high loud component sound system for that we didn't realize that the sound was too loud for the other neighbor to hear. I know that this incident is really my mistake and I would like you to know that I am really sorry for what happened. I hope you will accept my apology. I would like to inform you that after I heard about the complaint I built a soundproof wall in the next room for future use in case that there will be a gathering like a party or special occasions that may cause noise from my neighbors. Again I am so sorry for what happened and I am assuring you that this will not happen again. Thank you and have a nice day, Warm regards, Jaymar
Dear Jerome,

Hope you are well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, I am writing a letter
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
the complaint about the noise from our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

Last night dated October 20, my family and I were celebrating my 25th birthday, we had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
party that includes family and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my co-workers. At the party, we have a dance contest and singing contest that
was suggested
by my visitors. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a high loud component sound system for that we didn't realize that the sound was too loud for the other neighbor to hear.

I know that this incident is
really
my mistake and I would like you to know that I am
really
sorry for what happened. I hope you will accept my apology.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would like to inform you that after I heard about the complaint I built a soundproof wall in the
next
room for future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in case that there will be a gathering like a party or special occasions that may cause noise from my neighbors.

Again I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sorry for what
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
happened and
I am assuring you that this will not happen again.

Thank you and have a nice day,

Warm regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Jaymar
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IELTS letter Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.