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request a friend to bring sth for you

request a friend to bring sth for you 2aR2b
Hello dear Farzad, Hope you are doing well. I'm doing fine though I miss home and my family, I heard that you are coming to my city and I am very glad for this due to several reasons, at first it seems ages since we last saw each other so we can spend time together and I will show you all over the city, in the other hand I have a favor to ask you and I hope you don't mind. In fact I need a few things from my parents' house, and I'd be so grateful if you could bring them along in your suitcase. There are some things that I have not brought with myself because I didn't expect this early winter here. So the first thing is my jacket, as you know winter clothes are very expensive here – don't worry, it's not heavy. The second thing is a packet of those spices from the famous ALVY shop. As you know those hand-made spices are not found anywhere. I do hope that is manageable for you, as it won't take up much space at all. In the meantime, I'm very excited about seeing you at the airport on Monday midday, I'll be in the arrivals hall, wearing my green coat.
Hello dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Farzad
,

Hope you are doing well.

I'm doing fine though I miss home and my family, I heard that you are coming to my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
city and
I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
glad for this due to several reasons, at
first
it seems ages since we last
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can spend time together and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
you all over the city, in the other hand I have a favor to ask you and I hope you don't mind. In
The comma is probably missing here: "fact, I".
fact I
need a few things from my parents'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, and I'd be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
grateful if you could bring them along in your suitcase.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things that I have not brought with myself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
this early winter here.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
first
thing is my jacket, as you know winter clothes are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive here
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
don't worry, it's not heavy. The second thing is a packet of those spices from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Possible spelling mistake found.
ALVY
shop.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
you know those hand-made spices are not found anywhere.

I do hope
that is
manageable for you, as it won't take up much space at all. In the meantime, I'm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
excited about seeing you at the airport on Monday midday, I'll be in the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "arrivals'" or "arrival's"?
arrivals
hall, wearing my green coat.
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IELTS letter request a friend to bring sth for you

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
213 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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