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Read this following message from Robert and write an email to him providing some suggestions. Write between 150 - 170 words. "I like doing many things such as skiing, dancing and playing a guitar. But I do not have time for doing all of them because they take much of my time after lessons. Which one should I choose?

Read this following message from Robert and write an email to him providing some suggestions. Write between 150 - 170 words. "I like doing many things such as skiing, dancing and playing a guitar. But I do not have time for doing all of them because they take much of my time after lessons. Which one should I choose? KGeL6
Dear Robert, How are you? I am glad to recieve your email. It has been a long time since the last time I wrote you! Hope you are in a good health as usual. I am writing to you to give some advices which you need that you asked in your email. First of all, you should not take off your studying for doing any hobbies. Thus, you should find a time to do only one of your hobbies. In my opinion, the best amazing job is that playing a guitar. It is relaxable and you always get smile. By the way, your hobby should not afford to your studying. Secondly, as you know that if you do this great exercise at all time, probably you will earn extra money from that. Hope you will not be disappointed. In addition, you can create different type of things like guitar school for children or something beneficial things that you want to do in your mind. Thank you again for your email. When you recieve this letter, call me at that time. Your friend, Eldor
Dear Robert,

How are you? I am glad to
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieve
your email. It has been a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
since the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I wrote you! Hope you are in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health as usual. I am writing to you to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advices which you need that you asked in your email.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, you should not take off your studying for doing any hobbies.
Thus
, you should find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one of your hobbies. In my opinion, the best amazing job is that playing a guitar. It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
relaxable
and you always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
smile. By the way, your hobby should not afford to your studying.
Secondly
, as you know that if you do this great exercise at all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
probably
you will earn extra money from that. Hope you will not
be disappointed
.

In addition
, you can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of things like guitar school for children or something beneficial things that you want to do in your mind. Thank you again for your email. When you
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieve
this letter, call me at that time.

Your friend,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eldor
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IELTS letter Read this following message from Robert and write an email to him providing some suggestions. Write between 150 - 170 words. "I like doing many things such as skiing, dancing and playing a guitar. But I do not have time for doing all of them because they take much of my time after lessons. Which one should I choose?

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Read this following message from Robert and write an email to him providing some suggestions. Write between 150 - 170 words. "I like doing many things such as skiing, dancing and playing a guitar. But I do not have time for doing all of them because they take much of my time after lessons. Which one should I choose?