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places of interest in my hometown

places of interest in my hometown qRA7a
dear dan, I'm so excited that you're coming to visit Hanoi, the capital city of Vietnam. Hanoi is well known for its preserved buildings, museums, and ancient pagodas. The reason why you should visit Hanoi is that Hanoi is a pot of Vietnam's culinary. You can easily find all kinds of delicacies in the city which come from other provinces. For example, Banh Cuon, La Vong grilled fish, Nem, and so on. Moreover, water puppetry is our unique performance art. The puppets are made from wood, and artists use those puppets to tell traditional folk tales. Thang Long theater on Hoan Kiem lake is where you can find such an excellent performance. In addition, Hanoi is also proud of its scenic spots. The most popular in Hanoi are calm lakes such as Hoan Kiem lake, Truc Bach Lake, West Lake, Bay Mau lake, and so on. The lakes are shaded by trees on the surface of the lake
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dear
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dan
,

I'm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited that you're coming to visit Hanoi, the capital city of Vietnam. Hanoi is well known for its preserved buildings, museums, and ancient pagodas. The reason why you should visit Hanoi is that Hanoi is a pot of Vietnam's culinary. You can
easily
find all kinds of delicacies in the city which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from other provinces.
For example
,
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Banh
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Cuon
, La
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Vong
grilled fish,
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Nem
, and
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so
on.
Moreover
, water puppetry is our unique performance art. The puppets
are made
from wood, and artists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
those puppets to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
traditional folk tales.
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Thang
Long theater on
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Hoan
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Kiem
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lake
is where you can find such an excellent performance.
In addition
, Hanoi is
also
proud of its scenic spots. The most popular in Hanoi are calm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lakes
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hoan
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Kiem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lake
,
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Truc
Bach
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Lake
, West
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Lake
, Bay
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Mau
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lake
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lakes
are shaded
by trees on the surface of the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
lake
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IELTS letter places of interest in my hometown

Letter
  American English
2 paragraphs
157 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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