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People's behaviour is largely determined by forces not of their own making. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supp v.2

People's behaviour is largely determined by forces not of their own making. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supp v. 2
My name is X. I am working as a mechanical engineer in one of the most well-known car factories in the Iran since last 5 years. Recently, I have seen a brochure on the company notice board concerning a seminar about modern automobile designing that is going to be held in the France. In the light of the fact that it would appropriately boost my knowledge domain of the car designing, I am really enthusiasm participating in the symposium. So, I want to ask you to send a letter with regard to me some information about that. First, I would appreciate if you let me know the accurate date of the seminar and the schedule of the programs that are going to delve. Also, I wonder if i know how many days the symposium takes. Beside, the accommodation is very vital issue in the light of the fact that it is 4 hours by plain to get there. Therefore, it would be wise if you inform me whether you settle me in a hotel or I should reserve a room beforehand. Finally, please send me the comprehensive information about the prices of participation. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, X
My name is X. I am working as a mechanical engineer in one of the most well-known car factories in the Iran since last 5 years. Recently, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a brochure on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
notice board concerning a seminar about modern automobile designing
that is
going to
be held
in the France. In the light of the fact that it would
appropriately
boost my knowledge domain of the car designing, I am
really
enthusiasm participating in the symposium.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I want to ask you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a letter with regard to me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information about that.

First
, I would appreciate if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know the accurate date of the seminar and the schedule of the programs that are going to delve.
Also
, I wonder if
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
know how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
days the symposium takes. Beside, the accommodation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital issue in the light of the fact that it is 4 hours by plain to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
there.
Therefore
, it would be wise if you inform me whether you settle me in a hotel or I should reserve a room beforehand.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me the comprehensive information about the prices of participation.

I am looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
sincerely
,

X
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS letter People's behaviour is largely determined by forces not of their own making. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supp v. 2

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
204 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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