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Organising a seminar for your company

Organising a seminar for your company dqpNr
Dear Mrs ChristianI am writing to tell you about training event. I am organising for the afternoon of Wednesday on 9th July. The seminar is on the issue of "how to attract teenagers attention to book". Our company members think about this problem. They search for different ways to make teenagers interested in it. As you know, nowadays young people spend much time for the necessary information and things. You hold many certification and experiment among children and teenagers. I would be grateful if you would be prepared to share some this knowledge and make a presentation during seminar. I suggest that the seminar should last for 1hours. The subject I would like you to discuss about in what ways we can increase young people's love for books. In practical session where people can practice good lifting techniques would be ideal. If you are able to do this, please let me know what resources you would need so that I can provide them for you. I look forward to receiving your reply. Your sincerely, Lucy Dale.
Dear Mrs
Possible spelling mistake found.
ChristianI
Did you mean "am I"?
am
writing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about training
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. I am
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
for the afternoon of Wednesday on 9th July. The seminar is on the issue of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
how to attract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
attention to book
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. Our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about this problem. They search for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
interested in it. As you know, nowadays young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend much time for the necessary information and things. You hold
Possible agreement error. The noun certification seems to be countable; consider using: "many certifications".
many certification
and experiment among children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. I would be grateful if you would
be prepared
to share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
this knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a presentation during seminar. I suggest that the seminar should last for 1hours. The subject I would like you to
Did you mean simply "discuss in"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about in
what ways we can increase young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for books. In practical session where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
lifting techniques would be ideal. If you are able to do this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know what resources you would need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can provide them for you. I look forward to receiving your reply.
Did you mean "Yours"? (complimentary close)
Your
sincerely
, Lucy Dale.
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IELTS letter Organising a seminar for your company

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
176 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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