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On a recent holiday, you lost a valuable item. Fortunately, you have travel insurance to cover the cost of anything lost. v.4

On a recent holiday, you lost a valuable item. Fortunately, you have travel insurance to cover the cost of anything lost. v. 4
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to inform you that I have lost my professional Canon camera during my trip to Perth and would like to claim my insurance for the lost item. I have availed your insurance service recently and my insurance number is 25478410. I stayed in Perth with my family between 18th June and 24th June and I had clicked so many amazing pictures during this time. Luckily, I transferred all the pictures to my cloud storage. I clearly remember that we took our last photo at the entrance of the hotel and left for the airport. I wanted to capture the last moment of our journey so I was looking for my camera and unfortunately, I could not find it. I called the hotel staff to look for it where we took the last photo but he confirmed that he could not find it. As per the travel insurance, I am entitled to receive the coverage of the lost item. It was a Canon UX-324 model camera which is hard to get due to its high demand. I would like to claim for the camera's original price as it was a fairly new camera. I would appreciate if you could transfer the money into my account. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Naaz Rihal
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to inform you that I have lost my professional Canon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
during my trip to Perth and would like to claim my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
for the lost item. I have availed your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
service recently and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
number is 25478410.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
stayed in Perth with my family between 18th June and 24th June and I had clicked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
amazing pictures during this time. Luckily, I transferred all the pictures to my cloud storage. I
clearly
remember that we took our last photo at the entrance of the hotel and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for the airport. I wanted to capture the last moment of our journey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I was looking for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
and unfortunately, I could not find it.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
called the hotel staff to look for it where we took the last photo
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he confirmed that he could not find it.

As per the travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
insurance
, I
am entitled
to receive the coverage of the lost item. It was a Canon UX-324 model
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
due to its high demand. I would like to claim for the camera's original price as it was a
fairly
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
. I would appreciate if you could transfer the money into my account.

Looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Naaz
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rihal
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS letter On a recent holiday, you lost a valuable item. Fortunately, you have travel insurance to cover the cost of anything lost. v. 4

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
223 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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