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Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep? pRL5d
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to apply for the voluntary work at your museum. The followings are my reasons. Firstly, I really need to do this part-time job as I want to gain more knowledge to be able to serve my study better. If I do this work, I can update all of my English skills by talking with foreign visitors and reading information of historical exhibits, which is also necessary to my study. Luckily, the museum is near my house that I will easily walk to work in a few minutes. Secondly, I am friendly and nice-looking, which my friends usually say about me. In addition, I have been studying the management major so I am able to manage and talk with all of tourists at the museum. Finally, I am available from Monday to Friday and from 2 to 5 pm. I hope you approve my application and inform me via 0909091196. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Regards, Luc To
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to apply for the voluntary work at your museum. The followings are my reasons.

Firstly
, I
really
need to do this part-time job as I want to gain more knowledge to be able to serve my study better. If I do this work, I can update all of my English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by talking with foreign visitors and reading information of historical exhibits, which is
also
necessary to my study. Luckily, the museum is near my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
that I will
easily
walk to work in a few minutes.

Secondly
, I am friendly and nice-looking, which my friends
usually
say about me.
In addition
, I have been studying the management major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I am able to manage and talk with
Consider using "all tourists" or "all of the tourists".
all of tourists
at the museum.

Finally
, I am available from Monday to Friday and from 2 to 5 pm. I hope you approve my application and inform me via 0909091196.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Luc
To
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IELTS letter Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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