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Notify problem in the flat

Notify problem in the flat r1VDm
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to you in regards to the ongoing problems with the hot water service in the apartment at 7/26 Willisden Rd. , Brighton. As you are aware the hot water service has not been working since the 17th of December when I called to notify you of the problem. I appreciate that within a day you arranged for tradesmen to come to the flat to resolve the problem. However, after the workmen arrived without the appropriate tools for the job and after spending 10 minutes looking at the job advised that they were aware of the cause of the problem and would return later in the day to fix it. They did not return until the 22nd of December when they advised that the problem was different to what they first expected and would need to order in new parts. On their return just after Christmas they replaced the thermostat and declared that the problem was fixed, but we still have no hot water. I would appreciate it if you could either arrange different workmen to come and either fix or replace the hot water service before the 31st of December as we have guests coming to stay over New Year and would not wish them to fall ill. I look forward to your rapid response, Kind regards, Simon Smith
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to you
in regards to
the ongoing
problems
with the hot
water
service in the apartment at 7/26
Willisden
Rd.
,
Brighton. As you are aware the hot
water
service has not been working since the 17th of December when I called to notify you of the
problem
. I appreciate that within a day you arranged for tradesmen to
come
to the flat to resolve the
problem
.
However
, after the workmen arrived without the appropriate tools for the job and after spending 10 minutes looking at the job advised that they were aware of the cause of the
problem
and would return later in the day to
fix
it. They did not return until the 22nd of December when they advised that the
problem
was
different
to what they
first
expected
and would need to order in new parts. On their return
just
after Christmas they replaced the thermostat and declared that the
problem
was
fixed
,
but
we
still
have no hot
water
. I would appreciate it if you could either arrange
different
workmen to
come
and either
fix
or replace the hot
water
service
before
the 31st of December as we have guests coming to stay over New Year and would not wish them to fall ill. I look forward to your rapid response, Kind regards, Simon
Smith
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IELTS letter Notify problem in the flat

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
223 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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