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no cafeteria letter to boss 1. issue 2. what results 3. what to do

no cafeteria letter to boss 1. issue 2. what results 3. what to do PkAOd
Dear Mr. John, I am writing this letter to bring to your attention the difficulty faced by our employees due to the lack of cafeteria in our organization. I hope we could establish an initiative and get this resolved at the earliest. To embark with, I have came across a lot of employees who work for 8-10 hours stretch and are relocated from their hometown. Firstly, it becomes difficult to prepare meals and skipping meals can result in unhealthy habits. In addition, the drive to a nearby refreshment center is almost 30 minutes, moreover, junk food is not to be forged. This concludes to a counter-productive and waste of energy and also time. I am one of the sufferers, as productivity and dedication is the main priority to release a software on the scheduled date requires hard work. If the same situation continues, this will tend to hamper their performance. Consequently, for a healthy set up in the company, I suggest we utilize the empty space in the 9th floor with open terrace, therefore, helps in relaxing and change in mind. I hope you take my suggestion into consideration and will wait to hear from you at the earliest. Yours sincerely,
Dear Mr. John,

I am writing this letter to bring to your attention the difficulty faced by our employees due to the lack of cafeteria in our organization. I hope we could establish an initiative and
get
this resolved at the earliest.

To embark with, I have
came
across
a lot of
employees who work for 8-10 hours stretch and
are relocated
from their hometown.
Firstly
, it becomes difficult to prepare meals and skipping meals can result in unhealthy habits.
In addition
, the drive to a nearby refreshment center is almost 30 minutes,
moreover
, junk food is not to
be forged
. This concludes to a counter-productive and waste of energy and
also
time.

I am one of the sufferers, as productivity and dedication is the main priority to release a software on the scheduled date requires
hard
work. If the same situation continues, this will tend to hamper their performance.

Consequently
, for a healthy set up in the
company
, I suggest we utilize the empty space in the 9th floor with open terrace,
therefore
,
helps
in relaxing and
change
in mind.

I hope you take my suggestion into consideration and will wait to hear from you at the earliest.

Yours
sincerely
,
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IELTS letter no cafeteria letter to boss 1. issue 2. what results 3. what to do

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
201 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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