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My new job is great, and next month I get to travel on business. Guess what – I’m actually coming to your town for a week! I’ll be free some evenings and one weekend. I want to make the most of this opportunity, so I’d like your advice please: where to go, what to do, and why?

My new job is great, and next month I get to travel on business. Guess what – I’m actually coming to your town for a week! I’ll be free some evenings and one weekend. I want to make the most of this opportunity, so I’d like your advice please: where to go, what to do, and why? oVmr9
Dear John, How are you? Good to hear from you again. I hope you are still enjoying your new job. I'm glad you asked me about traveling on business in our town. Well, I will show you fantastic places for relaxing and you enjoy it. After your work I'll introduce you with my friends and we may go restaurants, clubs and walk around surrounding countryside. Anyway, you'll seen different familiar landscapes, open fields and not only rocky mountains but also you will take a picture of spectacular places. At the weekend we are going to play football with classmates and you will join too. Playing soccer with friends it is amazing. By the way, after the match we are going to picnic. You will take for yourself drinks and pastries. I also have some other amazing news - I bought a brand new car. It was one of my dream car and meet you from airport in my new car. Hope to hear from you soon. All the best, Bob.
Dear John,

How are you?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
to hear from you again. I hope you are
still
enjoying your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
job.

I'm glad you asked me about traveling on business in our town. Well, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
you fantastic places for relaxing and you enjoy it. After your work I'll introduce you with my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
friends and
we may go restaurants, clubs and walk around surrounding countryside.

Anyway, you'll
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
familiar landscapes, open fields and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
rocky mountains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
you will take a picture of spectacular places.

At the weekend we are going to play football with classmates and you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
too. Playing soccer with friends it is amazing. By the way, after the match we are going to picnic. You will take for yourself drinks and pastries.

I
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other amazing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
car. It was one of my dream car and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you from airport in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
car.

Hope to hear from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

All the best,

Bob.

IELTS letter My new job is great, and next month I get to travel on business. Guess what – I’m actually coming to your town for a week! I’ll be free some evenings and one weekend. I want to make the most of this opportunity, so I’d like your advice please: where to go, what to do, and why?

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • My new job is great, and next month I get to travel on business. Guess what – I’m actually coming to your town for a week! I’ll be free some evenings and one weekend. I want to make the most of this opportunity, so I’d like your advice please: where to go, what to do, and why?