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…Do you like all these new gadgets like I-phones? I think some of them are not easy to use, do you agree with me? Do people really need all the functions provided by them? ….My uncle presented me a robot pet

…Do you like all these new gadgets like I-phones? I think some of them are not easy to use, do you agree with me? Do people really need all the functions provided by them? …. My uncle presented me a robot pet 11qqq
Dear Tina Thank you for your letter. I’m really happy to hear from you. Well, we use various electronic gadgets in our daily life because they make our life easier. I am pretty passionate about them. I can’t imagine my life without them especially without my mobile phone. However, it seems to me that using all these high-techs is not so easy for everybody. I agree with you that they have a variety of functions that we don’t need. For instance, there are a lot of functions in my mobile phone but I use only half of them. If there were some choices to select the functions for the gadgets that we are buying, then they would be more user-friendly and easy to operate. It’s great news that you are presented a robot pet. I have always wanted to have one. Anyway, please tell me a little bit more about your new robot. What kind of functions does it have? How much does it cost? Do you like it? Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Best wishes Kate
Dear Tina

Thank you for your letter. I’m
really
happy to hear from you.

Well, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
various electronic gadgets in our daily life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life easier. I am pretty passionate about them. I can’t imagine my life without them
especially
without my mobile phone.
However
, it seems to me that using all these high-techs is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy for everybody. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with you that they have a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
functions
that we don’t need.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
functions
in my mobile phone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
half of them. If there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
choices to select the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
functions
for the gadgets that we are buying, then they would be more user-friendly and easy to operate.

Did you mean "its great news"?
It’s great news
that you
are presented
a robot pet. I have always wanted to have one. Anyway,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
more about your new robot. What kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
functions
does it have? How much does it cost? Do you like it?

Looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Best wishes Kate

IELTS letter …Do you like all these new gadgets like I-phones? I think some of them are not easy to use, do you agree with me? Do people really need all the functions provided by them? …. My uncle presented me a robot pet

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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