Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

My name is Nagarjun Murali and I am writing in application for Transform together scholarship to assist me throughout my time studying in the Msc Big Data Analytics from Sheffield Hallam University..

My name is Nagarjun Murali and I am writing in application for Transform together scholarship to assist me throughout my time studying in the Msc Big Data Analytics from Sheffield Hallam University. . Jo3o0
Nagarjun Murali, Simmakkal, Madurai. +91-7639495656 The Scholarship Committee Sheffield Hallam University. To Whom It May Concern: My name is Nagarjun Murali and I am writing in application for Transform together scholarship to assist me throughout my time studying in the Msc Big Data Analytics from Sheffield Hallam University. . Being awarded the chance to study further in the big data field at the Sheffield Hallam University is an incredible opportunity for me and one I intend to seize wholeheartedly without reservation. Although my parents never went to college they always valued quality education over money since i was a kid. So I do understand the importance of education and what empowerment it can bring. My family has made many sacrifices to allow me to focus on education throughout my undergraduate degree. I now have an opportunity to become the first person in my family to get an masters degree from an international university, though I'm in need of financial assistance to realize what has been a long-term goal for me and a dream for my parents. Despite financial hardship during my college years, I have always done what is necessary to further my studies and work experience. This includes a full month of Pro Bono work helping the poor here in Konthagai village as a part of an voluntary college program. The Pro Bono work gave me a new perspective towards helping others and it also made me unique among my classmates, Since I was the only one volunteered for the 1 month camp. In my time during Cognizant technology solutions, I also stood out from my colleagues by volunteering in assisting the senior citizens to get to know about the latest technology to connect with their loved ones post my work shift timings. If i'm successful in obtaining the scholarship, I'm fairly confident in myself that I can turn out to be an unique student ambassador for Sheffield Hallam University. Relocating from Madurai, India for the duration of the program represents a huge challenge and while it is one I am fully committed to, it does present considerable financial strain. I will be doing my utmost to not let this effect my participation and concentration required to gain as much as I can from the program. This scholarship represents to me an opportunity to fully focus my attention on the main objective of achieving the best I can in the Big Data analytics program. I will strive to be a representative and ambassador of Sheffield Hallam University during the educational time period and also throughout my future career and am very thankful to be able to attend this course. I thank you for taking the time to evaluate this application and look forward to arriving in Sheffield soon. Sincerely, Nagarjun Murali
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nagarjun
Possible spelling mistake found.
Murali
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Simmakkal
, Madurai.

+91-7639495656

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scholarship
Committee

Sheffield Hallam University.

To Whom It May Concern:

My name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nagarjun
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Murali and
I am writing in application for Transform together
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
to assist me throughout my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
studying in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Msc
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
Data Analytics from Sheffield Hallam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


Being awarded
the chance to study
further
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
data field at the Sheffield Hallam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is an incredible opportunity for me and one I intend to seize
wholeheartedly
without reservation. Although my parents never went to college they always valued quality education over money since
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was a kid.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I do understand the importance of education and what empowerment it can bring. My family has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sacrifices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to focus on education throughout my undergraduate degree. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have an opportunity to become the
first
person in my family to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
For an academic degree, use "master’s".
masters
degree from an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, though I'm in need of financial assistance to realize what has been a long-term goal for me and a dream for my parents.

Despite financial hardship during my college years, I have always done what is necessary to
further
my studies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience. This includes a full month of Pro Bono
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
helping the poor here in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Konthagai
village as a part of
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
voluntary college program. The Pro Bono
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
gave me a new perspective towards helping others and it
also
made me unique among my classmates, Since I was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one volunteered for the
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "1-month"
1 month
camp. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
during Cognizant technology solutions, I
also
stood out from my colleagues by volunteering in assisting the senior citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about the latest technology to connect with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones post my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
shift timings. If
Did you mean "I'm"?
i'm
successful in obtaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
, I'm
fairly
confident in myself that I can turn out to be
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
unique student ambassador for Sheffield Hallam University.

Relocating from Madurai, India for the duration of the program represents a huge challenge and while it is one I am
fully
committed to, it does present considerable financial strain. I will be doing my utmost to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
this effect my participation and concentration required to gain as much as I can from the program.

This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
represents to me an opportunity to
fully
focus my attention on the main objective of achieving the best I can in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
Data analytics program. I will strive to be a representative and ambassador of Sheffield Hallam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
during the educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period and
also
throughout my future career and am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
thankful to be able to attend this course. I thank you for taking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to evaluate this application and look forward to arriving in Sheffield
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Nagarjun
Possible spelling mistake found.
Murali
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS letter My name is Nagarjun Murali and I am writing in application for Transform together scholarship to assist me throughout my time studying in the Msc Big Data Analytics from Sheffield Hallam University. .

Letter
  American English
12 paragraphs
461 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • My name is Nagarjun Murali and I am writing in application for Transform together scholarship to assist me throughout my time studying in the Msc Big Data Analytics from Sheffield Hallam University..