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motivational letter

motivational letter gqqPa
Dear Administrative Committee, I am submitting this motivation letter to support my application for the bachlor’s degree programand express myself as the best candidate for Stipendium Hungaricum Scholarship 2022. I am Ahmad Bin Shahid from Faisalabad, Pakistan. I have been among the top-performing students. I scored 96% in SSC exams and 89%in HSSC exams. I also excel in extracurricular activities. I participated in debates, theater, quiz competitions, etc. My dedication and disciple earned me the position of the head prefect of my school and Class Representative during my college years. The most important lesson that I have learned from this is that being a leader you must not expect the rest of the team to do all the work on their own and you should lead from the front. I am also a member of the Amnesty International Organization fighting for human rights. I was always interested in biology but it grew as I performed experiments i. e food tests and studied life processes during my matriculation. During my first year at Punjab College of Science, I dissected a frog, cockroach, and performed various experiments in the biology lab. My interest and aptitude in biology lead to my selection in the class team at the Annual Inter PGC Biology Quiz competition. These events lead to my fascination with biology and encouraged me to go into this field. My interest in the field of biology had already grown so much that I decided to peruse a career in biology. Biologists are those creatures who discover life and its secrets. Biology is a diverse subject and everything in it fascinates me but not more than genetics. The double-helical structured DNA molecule codes our very existence and how genes carry inheritance. Studying them, one can unravel the history of humanity and discover the cause of so many ailments. The contribution of biology has been immense in the scientific revolution in the last few decades. From producing vaccines and rare drugs, tracing evolution to testing for damaged genes, and identifying criminals, biology has encompassed other scientific disciplines. This field will allow me to study life forms at their basic level to entire populations. As for my plans, I hope to obtain MSc in genetics and do my advanced studies in Gene and therapy. I completed my HSSC in 2019 but, due to financial difficulties and my Family Financial supporter our Maternal Aunt passed away and my father suffering from brain hemorrhage I was unable to pay the tuition fee. I did not lose hope rather I started to work part-time and gave HSSC exams again in 2020 to improve my grades but again due to Financial Issues and my father having angioplasty I had to leave drop out of Aga Khan University MBBS Program after 2 months as I was unable to pay the fees. That's when I started to look for various opportunities to study on a scholarship that's when I heard about the Stipendium Hungaricum Scholarship from one of my friends. I have also corresponded and interacted with students currently studying in Hungary, and I found them quite satisfied with the quality of education they are getting there and the financial aid they received is the opportunity I have been looking for. They also motivated me to apply for the scholarship. I chose Hungary because its universities are highly acknowledged for their good work in science and technology. I find it fascinating that this small country has more than 10 Nobel Prize winners. I have an intention to learn the Hungarian language to break language barriers between me and residents there, so I can socialize easily in an unfamiliar place. To be a student of one of the world’s prominent institutes, enjoying state-of-the-art facilities will also help in personal grooming, learning, and experiencing the latest technologies and innovations. Most of all the chance to escape from the mental exhaustion of financing my studies will be very beneficial to me. I hope to gain valuable knowledge and aptitudes related to biology. I shall practice all of them wisely in Pakistan as I further my studies while contributing to the development of my country as much as I can. Along with that, I shall share my experience in Hungary with my compatriots and involve them in my future work ladder. In this case, this scholarship program is not educating a single person, but educating the whole nation to improve! Increasing the aptitude of My country in biological sciences is also on my goals list. I am fully aware of how competitive the Stipendium Hungaricum Scholarship selection process is, but I am confident that my academic background, industry experience, and self-motivation make me well-suited for this program. Indeed, receiving admission constitutes a great responsibility and duty to work hard, and it would be an honor to commit myself to this opportunity. Yours Sincerely, Ahmad Bin Shahid.
Dear Administrative Committee,

I am submitting this motivation letter to support my application for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
bachlor
’s degree
Possible spelling mistake found.
programand
express myself as the best candidate for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stipendium
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hungaricum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scholarship
2022.

I am Ahmad Bin Shahid from Faisalabad, Pakistan.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have been among the top-performing students.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
scored 96% in SSC exams and 89%in
Possible spelling mistake found.
HSSC
exams.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
also
excel in extracurricular activities.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
participated in debates, theater, quiz competitions, etc.

My dedication and disciple earned me the position of the head prefect of my school and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Class
Representative during my college years. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
lesson that I have learned from this is that being a leader you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
the rest of the team to do all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and you should lead from the front. I am
also
a member of the Amnesty International Organization fighting for human rights.

I was always interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it grew as I performed experiments i. e food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
and studied life processes during my matriculation. During my
first
year at Punjab College of Science, I dissected a frog, cockroach, and performed various experiments in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
lab. My interest and aptitude in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
lead to my selection in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
team at the Annual Inter PGC
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Biology
Quiz competition. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
lead to my fascination with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
and encouraged me to go into this field.

My interest in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
had already grown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much that I decided to peruse a career in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
. Biologists are those creatures who discover life and its secrets.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Biology
is a diverse subject and everything in it fascinates me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not more than genetics. The double-helical structured DNA molecule codes our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
existence and how genes carry inheritance. Studying them, one can unravel the history of humanity and discover the cause of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ailments. The contribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
has been immense in the scientific revolution in the last few decades. From producing vaccines and rare drugs, tracing evolution to testing for damaged genes, and identifying criminals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
has encompassed other scientific disciplines. This field will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
life forms at their basic level to entire populations. As for my plans, I hope to obtain
Consider using a more common abbreviation of this university degree.
MSc
in genetics and do my advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in Gene and therapy.

I completed my
Possible spelling mistake found.
HSSC
in 2019
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
difficulties and my Family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Financial
supporter our Maternal Aunt passed away and my father suffering from brain hemorrhage I was unable to pay the tuition fee. I did not lose hope
rather
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
part-time and gave
Possible spelling mistake found.
HSSC
exams again in 2020 to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my grades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
again due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Financial
Issues and my father having angioplasty I had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
drop out of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aga
Khan University
Possible spelling mistake found.
MBBS
Program after 2 months as I was unable to pay the fees. That's when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to look for various opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
that's when I heard about the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stipendium
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hungaricum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scholarship
from one of my friends. I have
also
corresponded and interacted with students
currently
studying in Hungary, and I found them quite satisfied with the quality of education they are getting there and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
aid they received is the opportunity I have been looking for. They
also
motivated me to apply for the scholarship.

I chose Hungary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
its universities are
highly
acknowledged for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in science and technology. I find it fascinating that this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
country has more than 10 Nobel Prize winners.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have an intention to learn the Hungarian language to break language barriers between me and residents there,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can socialize
easily
in an unfamiliar place. To be a student of one of the world’s prominent institutes, enjoying state-of-the-art facilities will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in personal grooming, learning, and experiencing the latest technologies and innovations. Most of all the chance to escape from the mental exhaustion of financing my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial to me.

I hope to gain valuable knowledge and aptitudes related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
. I shall practice all of them
wisely
in Pakistan as I
further
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
while contributing to the development of my country as much as I can. Along with that, I shall share my experience in Hungary with my compatriots and involve them in my future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
ladder.
In this case
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
program is not educating a single person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
educating the whole nation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
! Increasing the aptitude of My country in biological sciences is
also
on my goals list.

I am
fully
aware of how competitive the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stipendium
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hungaricum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scholarship
selection process is,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am confident that my academic background, industry experience, and self-motivation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me well-suited for this program.
Indeed
, receiving admission constitutes a great responsibility and duty to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, and it would be an honor to commit myself to this opportunity.

Yours
Sincerely
,

Ahmad Bin Shahid.
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IELTS letter motivational letter

Letter
  American English
12 paragraphs
811 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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