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Letter to the manager for restriction of the community hall

Letter to the manager for restriction of the community hall 8L8yr
Dear David, I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing in regards to the restriction of usage of the Brookshire Community Hall for our music Group. We are a group of 20 musicians who have been using the hall since 2 years and have been practicing music on Tuesday and Friday evenings. Suddenly, we have been told that we cannot no longer use the hall without giving a proper reason. Music is a therapy to many people and we are doing this for a noble cause. We are registered with a cancern aid organisation and have been playing for cancer patients since 2 years now. It give relief to our heart and also some smile on the people near us. We also collect charity for them through this and are doing it purposely. We are teenagers and are usually free after our tutions almost daily evening. Our group is good for the community in many ways. Fristly, we are doing it for a noble cause. Secondly, we teach many poor people for free. Also, we go on the old age homes on weekends to make elderly people happy. I would really request you to look into this matter and help us with some alternative timings if possible( We are free almost everday in evenings), We are practing here since long and would like to carry with the same. Thanks and looking forward to a quick resolution. Regards, Sagar
Dear David,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing
in regards to
the restriction of usage of the Brookshire Community Hall for our music Group.

We are a group of 20 musicians who have been using the hall since 2 years and have been practicing music on Tuesday and Friday evenings.
Suddenly
, we have been
told
that we cannot no longer
use
the hall without giving a proper reason.

Music is a therapy to
many
people and
we are doing this for a noble cause. We
are registered
with a
cancern
aid
organisation
and have been playing for cancer patients since 2 years
now
. It
give
relief to our heart and
also
some
smile on the
people
near us.

We
also
collect charity for them through this and are doing it
purposely
. We are
teenagers
and are
usually
free after our
tutions
almost daily evening.

Our group is
good
for the community in
many
ways.
Fristly
, we are doing it for a noble cause.
Secondly
, we teach
many
poor
people
for free.
Also
, we go on the
old
age homes on weekends to
make
elderly
people
happy.

I would
really
request you to look into this matter and
help
us with
some
alternative timings if possible
(
We are free almost
everday
in evenings), We are
practing
here since long and would like to carry with the same.

Thanks and looking forward to a quick resolution.

Regards,

Sagar
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IELTS letter Letter to the manager for restriction of the community hall

Letter
  American English
10 paragraphs
239 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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