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letter to my Australian friend

letter to my Australian friend m8AXq
Hello. Congrats! It’s wonderful! I wish you and your sister even more victories! How were you feeling when you found out about it? Were you proud of her? When I was ten I participated in chess competition. It was exhausting. Two days of four hour games. There were many competitions like this and I even won there several times, but now I wouldn’t like to enter those competitions because I am not playing chess any more. I soon will take part in swimming competition so I will text you about it. And how about you? What competitions did you participate in? I am waiting for a reply letter. Sincerely Valera
Hello. Congrats! It’s wonderful! I wish you and your sister even more victories! How were you feeling when you found out about it? Were you proud of her?

“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
I was ten I participated in chess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
. It was exhausting. Two days of four hour games. There were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
like this and I even won there several times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I wouldn’t like to enter those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I am not playing chess
Did you mean the adverb "anymore"?
any more
. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in swimming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I will text you about it.

And how about you? What
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
did you participate in? I am waiting for a reply letter.

Sincerely


Possible spelling mistake found.
Valera

IELTS letter letter to my Australian friend

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
109 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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