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Letter to MR Brown for tourist guide position

Letter to MR Brown for tourist guide position 0E7E3
Dear Sir/Madam I have read about guide vacancy in your website. I am very interested in tourism industry and at present looking for a tour guide position. I have five years experience in international company where I have worked with multinational staff. I believe that my experience, skills, personal qualities, qualifications, communicative abilities make me suitable candidate for the job. I live in this city and know a lot of interesting and fascinating stories about it. I have visited and explored very exiting and historical places which will appeal all city visitors. I have read many guide books and can easily lead all touristsattationtowords our city. At the same time I regularly take part in many activites, and know recent trends very well. Moreover I have been working in a local big hotel as a project manager and rule all events organizations, guests orders, meetings. So I know how to deal with overseas visitors. I hope to hear to hear from you soon. Please consider my application for this role. Feel free to contact me for any questions or any other information. Sincerely Sofiya Khachaturyan
Dear Sir/Madam

I have read about guide vacancy in your website. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interested in tourism industry and at present looking for a tour guide position.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have five years experience in international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
where I have worked with multinational staff.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
believe that my experience,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, personal qualities, qualifications, communicative abilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me suitable candidate for the job.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this city and know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
interesting and fascinating stories about it.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have visited and explored
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
exiting and historical places which will appeal all city visitors.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
guide books and can
easily
lead all
Possible spelling mistake found.
touristsattationtowords
our city.

At the same time I
regularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
, and know recent trends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
I have been working in a local
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
hotel as a project manager and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
organizations, guests orders, meetings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I know how to deal with overseas visitors.

I hope
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "to hear".
to hear to hear
from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
consider my application for this role. Feel free to contact me for any questions or any other information.

Sincerely


Possible spelling mistake found.
Sofiya
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khachaturyan
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IELTS letter Letter to MR Brown for tourist guide position

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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