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Letter to find a part time employment in next summer

Letter to find a part time employment in next summer AJJ8n
Dear Mrs Berrett, I'm interested regarding to your advertisement on caretaker part time basis for your home for a few days in next summer. I have hand full of experience in cleaning, operating kitchen equipment, cooking and gardening which I have gathered from my previous workplaces, will allow me to support your requirements perfectly. I am honestly looking forward to buy a drawing pad to aid my university course works in next year and that is the reason why I'm looking for a part time job at your place. Since a branded drawing pad could be very expensive, I’m planning on buying a used one. I'm interested to work at your place and I'm currently holding a valid working visa. I'm available for work after 3. 00pm every day except Sundays. So, I'm looking forward to hearing from you regarding the above matter and feel free to contact me at any time via telephone 0777900918. Thank You. Sincerely, Nathasha.
Dear Mrs
Possible spelling mistake found.
Berrett
,

I'm interested
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
your advertisement on caretaker
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
basis for your home for a few days in
next
summer. I have hand full of experience in cleaning, operating kitchen equipment, cooking and gardening which I have gathered from my previous workplaces, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to support your requirements
perfectly
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am
honestly
looking forward to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a drawing pad to aid my university course works in
next
year and
that is
the reason why I'm looking for a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
job at your place. Since a branded drawing pad could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive, I’m planning on buying a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
one.

I'm interested to work at your place and I'm
currently
holding a valid working visa. I'm available for work after 3. 00pm every day except Sundays.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I'm looking forward to hearing from you regarding the above matter and feel free to contact me at any time via telephone 0777900918.

Thank You.

Sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Nathasha
.
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IELTS letter Letter to find a part time employment in next summer

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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