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Letter Of Motivation for university application

Letter Of Motivation for university application pRQNm
The technological studies regarding the sustainable way of energy generation by means of photovoltaic cells or other mediums and the project planning or management, amalgamation of both these studies is "Renewable Energy Engineering and Management". When I was juvenile, I have been mentored by good mentors around me, they made me realise the urgency and requirements for sustainable energy in upcoming decades. That time I was unaware of renewable energy, I knew about the windmill but did not know the type of energy it is. Later in 2005 companies like Tesla were emerging, and peoples minds regarding sluggish electric vehicles changed. Moreover, I was fascinated with the thought of installing solar panels on the house and running an electric vehicle out of it. That would be like commuting with zero cost and emissions, but the photovoltaic installation was expensive, and still it is today. Later I pursued mechanical engineering in bachelors'. Furthermore, to middle out the carbon emission me and my team made a final thesis on biofuels for diesel engines, which could lower the emission and the cost. We managed to lower the carbon emission without affecting the efficiency of the diesel engine, but the biodiesel found to be costlier, due to its processing cost. We soon realised these biofuels couldn't not replace the petrochemicals, and my country India is highly dependent on Gulf countries for the petroleum, and on the other hand, the crude oil prices are increasing day by day. It is high time to shift on the other resources for energy. India is doing great in manufacturing photovoltaic cells, but these cells are not efficient enough, we need advanced photovoltaic cell technology and the other related components specially batteries, which helps to make the most out of it. Recently i visited "Shirdi Sai Prasadalay" it is an community who made solar kitchen by using Concentrated Solar Thermal Technology and saving 1 lakh kg of LPG every year and been facilitated by many awards. This made my decision to pursue my master in renewable engineering even stronger. I would like to venture an solar energy company in my hometown, in order to provide proper technology to encourage renewable energy resources. Moreover that would help in lowering the pollution rates causing by commuteing vehicles, which is ranging from 100 to 200 even above 400 in some parts of India. Furthermore, it will also lead us to be self reliance from crude oil importing from gulf countries and also in generation of new employments. With this ambition I more inclined towards renewable energy management and planning, which will provide me enough exposure to achieve my desired goal. On the other hand, India lies on tropic of cancer, availed with enough sun exposure whole year, I think this light energy could be utilized. Moreover, favorable conditions for wind energy is few in some landscapes and coastal regions, and wind speed is not constantly available. Currently I'm researching a new kind of photovoltaic cell which could also fetch energy from low energy level photons. In other words, it could generate electricity from infrared light. Therefore, electricity can also be generated at night or in low light conditions. Such photovoltaic cells will be helpful in regions where sun time is considerably less. Things i expect form the REM program are: Adequate exposure which will help me to start my venture. Technical and oprational skills to install sustainable energy technologies. Business culture and policies related to sustainable energy technologies and installation Things I could contribute to REM program: I would like to develop an infrared solar panels
The technological studies regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
generation by means of photovoltaic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cells
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
mediums and the project planning or management, amalgamation of both these studies is
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Energy
Engineering and Management
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.

When I was juvenile, I have
been mentored
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mentors around me, they made me
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
the urgency and requirements for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in upcoming decades. That time I was unaware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, I knew about the windmill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
did not know the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
it is. Later in 2005
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like Tesla were emerging, and peoples minds regarding sluggish electric vehicles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
Moreover
, I
was fascinated
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of installing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
panels on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and running an electric vehicle out of it. That would be like commuting with zero cost and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the photovoltaic installation was expensive, and
still
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Later I pursued mechanical engineering in bachelors'.
Furthermore
, to middle out the carbon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
me and my team made a final thesis on biofuels for diesel engines, which could lower the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
and the cost. We managed to lower the carbon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
without affecting the efficiency of the diesel engine,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the biodiesel found to be costlier, due to its processing cost. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
these biofuels
You used a negation after a negated contracted verb. Did you mean simply "couldn't"?
couldn't not
replace the petrochemicals, and my country India is
highly
dependent on Gulf countries for the petroleum, and on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the crude oil prices are increasing day by day. It is high time to shift on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
resources for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. India is doing great in manufacturing photovoltaic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cells
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cells
are not efficient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, we need advanced photovoltaic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
related components
specially
batteries, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the most out of it. Recently
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
visited
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shirdi
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sai
Possible spelling mistake found.
Prasadalay
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
it is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
community who made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
kitchen by using Concentrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Solar
Thermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
and saving 1 lakh kg of LPG every year and
been facilitated
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
awards. This made my decision to pursue my master in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
engineering even stronger.

I would like to venture
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in my hometown, in order to provide proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
resources.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in lowering the pollution rates causing by
Possible spelling mistake found.
commuteing
vehicles, which is ranging from 100 to 200 even above 400 in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of India.
Furthermore
, it will
also
lead us to be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self reliance
from crude oil importing from gulf countries and
also
in generation of new employments. With this ambition I more inclined towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
management and planning, which will provide me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
exposure to achieve my desired goal. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, India lies on tropic of cancer, availed with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
sun exposure whole year, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
could
be utilized
.
Moreover
, favorable conditions for wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is few in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
landscapes and coastal regions, and wind speed is not
constantly
available.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Currently
I'm researching a new kind of photovoltaic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
which could
also
fetch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
from low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
level photons. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, it could generate electricity from infrared light.
Therefore
, electricity can
also
be generated
at night or in low light conditions. Such photovoltaic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cells
will be helpful in regions where sun time is
considerably
less.

Things
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
form the REM program are:

Adequate exposure which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
my venture.

Technical and
Possible spelling mistake found.
oprational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to install
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
technologies.

Business culture and policies related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and installation

Things I could contribute to REM program:

I would like to develop an infrared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
panels
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IELTS letter Letter Of Motivation for university application

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
593 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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