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letter about working in museum

letter about working in museum 6mmm8
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing for advertisement about part time voluntary work. I extremely like to work at your museum. I was enthusiastic in learning history since my childhood. By voluntary working in your museum I can improve my knowledge and I can have better resume. I have been studied history in colleague therefore I am dominant in working and describing history. One of the fields that I am interested in is ancient objects and I have plenty of information about them. Considering that I have many useful information about your arts and Historical objects therefor I can present people fluently. In addition to my knowledge if there were anything that I should learn, I am extremely eager to learn and study about them. I am always fascinated about demonstrating objects and their past to other people and I am really good at that so I thing I can guide people in your museum. I am free from Monday to Friday from 2pm to 7pm. Your faithfully,
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing for advertisement about
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
voluntary work. I
extremely
like to work at your museum.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was enthusiastic in learning history since my childhood. By voluntary working in your museum I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my knowledge and I can have better resume.

I have
been studied
history in colleague
therefore
I am dominant in working and describing history. One of the fields that I
am interested
in is ancient objects and I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of information about them.

Considering that I have
Possible agreement error. The noun information seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much useful information", "a good deal of useful information".
many useful information
about your arts and Historical objects therefor I can present
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fluently
.
In addition
to my knowledge if there were anything that I should learn, I am
extremely
eager to learn and study about them.

I am always fascinated about demonstrating objects and their past to other
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
I am
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
Did you mean the verb "think"?
thing
I can guide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in your museum.

I am free from Monday to Friday from 2pm to 7pm.

Did you mean "Yours"? (complimentary close)
Your
faithfully
,
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IELTS letter letter about working in museum

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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