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invited for a visit and you can't make it

invited for a visit and you can't make it bYqgY
Dear Bayo, Thank you for your invite, that is extremely kind of you and i really appreciate your generous offer to join you in Paris for summer. I'd really like to visit unfortunately I won't be able to make it due to the fact of my tight schedule. I was recently promoted to head of my department and this currently demands that i spend more time at the office. I am sure you would remember how much i love to take responsibility when we were back in college, and we worked together as joint head of class, Good memories! I would love to join you as soon as my leave application is granted, please let me know if you would be open to we're postponing for winter due to the fact that is most likely the time my leave would be granted. I am aware there are consequently a number of outdoor activities we can do together and I can't wait for us to have fun together. If anything changes at work and I am able to come sooner, I would let you know. Looking forward to hearing from you! Ridwan
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bayo
,

Thank you for your invite,
that is
extremely
kind of you and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
really
appreciate your generous offer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
you in Paris for summer. I'd
really
like to visit unfortunately I won't be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it due to the fact of my tight schedule.

I was recently promoted to head of my department and this
currently
demands that
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
spend more time at the office.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am sure you would remember how much
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to take responsibility when we were back in college, and we worked together as joint head of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
memories!

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
you as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
application
is granted
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know if you would be open to we're postponing for winter due to the fact
that is
most likely the time my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
would
be granted
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am aware there are
consequently
a number of outdoor activities we can do together and I can't wait for us to have fun together. If anything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
I am able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
sooner, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you know.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Possible spelling mistake found.
Ridwan
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IELTS letter invited for a visit and you can't make it

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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