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inquire the information from the college in oversea

inquire the information from the college in oversea gWl57
Dear Sir or Madam I am Naruebet Narichan from Thailand. I have recently registered as a student in your school at intermediate English class for four weeks starting at the beginning of November this year. I am writing to inquire about information about transferring the course. After the course was registered, I just saw another course that was very interesting, it’s English for IELTS exams. Could I change the class which I had registered for to this one? Because This class will be valuable and appropriate for me. Since the college has settled in Sydney renting is quite expensive, However, my renting budget is limited, so the rent could not be more than fifty dollars per month, and the accommodation could be a single room, also remote from the school because this is the first time for me to stay alone in foreign, therefore there is a room near the school could help me travel easier. I would really appreciate it If you could offer a bicycle to me for travel from the accommodation to the school? This vehicle will help me to decrease the transportation fare. I look forward to hearing from you Yours faithfully Naruebet Narichan
Dear Sir or Madam

I am
Naruebet
Narichan
from Thailand. I have recently registered as a student in your
school
at intermediate English
class
for four weeks starting at the beginning of November this year.

I am writing to inquire about information about transferring the course. After the course
was registered
, I
just
saw
another course that was
very
interesting, it’s English for IELTS exams. Could I
change
the
class
which I had registered for to this one?
Because
This
class
will be valuable and appropriate for me.

Since the college has settled in Sydney renting is quite expensive,
However
, my renting budget
is limited
,
so
the rent could not be more than fifty dollars per month, and the accommodation could be a single room,
also
remote from the
school
because
this is the
first
time for me to stay alone in foreign,
therefore
there is a room near the
school
could
help
me travel easier.

I would
really
appreciate it If you could offer a bicycle to me for travel from the accommodation to the
school
? This vehicle will
help
me to decrease the transportation fare.

I look forward to hearing from you

Yours
faithfully


Naruebet
Narichan
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IELTS letter inquire the information from the college in oversea

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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