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inconvenience with the room mate so requesting a new room 1. why new room 2. what problem 3. what to do

inconvenience with the room mate so requesting a new room 1. why new room 2. what problem 3. what to do JqLRa
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to express my discontent and discomfort I have been experiencing with the irrational behavior of my roommate Mark and request you to arrange new room in the next semester. I live in room 204, on the second floor of the Resident hall. Ever since I moved into this room, having hard time concentrating on my studies. My roommate friends gather every night and hold parties, as a matter of fact, I am not sure if such loud music is allowed in the hostel at late nights, this happens several times a month. Besides, he borrows my things without asking and never returns, moreover, due to his misbehavior, he lost a book borrowed from library, resulting, a fine which I needed to pay. Thus, I cannot handle this situation any longer as, I will not be able to withstand Mark. Consequently, please allow me to move into another room in the next term. Thank you in advance. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully,
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to express my discontent and discomfort I have been experiencing with the irrational behavior of my roommate Mark and request you to arrange new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
in the
next
semester.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
204, on the second floor of the Resident hall. Ever since I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
into this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
, having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time concentrating on my studies. My roommate friends gather every night and hold parties, as a matter of fact, I am not sure if such loud music is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
in the hostel at late nights, this happens several times a month.
Besides
, he borrows my things without asking and never returns,
moreover
, due to his misbehavior, he lost a book borrowed from library, resulting, a fine which I needed to pay.

Thus
, I cannot handle this situation any longer as, I will not be able to withstand Mark.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
into another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
in the
next
term.

Thank you in advance. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours
faithfully
,
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IELTS letter inconvenience with the room mate so requesting a new room 1. why new room 2. what problem 3. what to do

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
174 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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