personal statement, an explanation od study abroad

What should you do if you are convinced that you are sick? In fact, it's easy. It's enough to hear one thing from day to day for several years, do hark a comparable characteristic for every action and believe that all said is the absolute accuracy. You don't have exits. Initially. Strange, uncontrollable, bonkers and lunatic - this is my diagnosis, made by my friends, teachers, parents and other society. I have heard these adjectives all my life. Heard criticism, disapprovals, ridicules. I've been dictated about adopted standards and frameworks: girls are obliged to be beautiful and vulnerable, women must be obeyed, you are nothing, you mustn't pay attention to your personality, can't be idiosyncratic and different from others. You have to control your demeanour, think about others thoughts and opinions. You bloody must be like everyone else! Your wishes, needs and preferences are not interested. But what if adopted rules are alien to me? What to do if I have an innate inward disgust to the regulations? What, If I have a passion for new innovations, roads and news? What if risks and sudden challenges make me alive, make my mind contemplate and work? Unconsciously, I was searching for the pill from this cholera for 10 years. Firstly, trying to find the lifeline in religion and god, sincerely trying to believe in invisible and abstruse canons. After some time, an art school came to my life, and although they welcomed self-expression, they still tried to cut all the artists under one comb and inculcate to everyone a single possible brushstroke. Once sport also was my pill: tennis, swimming, short-track - inspiring, fast-moving and insanely accurate, giving a stratum of freedom and moments of faith in your strength to escape from reality on the ice. Don't blame me, It was fascinating, however, nothing from the above-mentioned couldn't dicrease my yearning to breath free, continually perform and change modes. Nothing from assigned pills couldn't help me. To one moment. It've happened 4 years ago. A teacher from my new school suggested to me a new medicine, which I swallowed with a big pleasure and felt myself differently. That woman offered me to join the team of school volunteers and go to an event as a photographer. I started to recover. Charged eyes; filled with ideas youth heads, ready to create and shape; social initiatives; solving global problems and, finally, the society of those who can't exist in daily routine and want to do every second their best. My train has come, I didn't buy the ticket away and preferred to stay in a new sculpted dimension. One dosage wasn't enough for me, that's why I started to dedicate myself to my new interest all my time, forgeting about lessons, rest and responsibilities. I were volunteering in my area and region, attended festivals, performed speeches, became the school president and the leader of journalists, meeting with people, and breathing deeply. Bets were growing, like my honours, like my thoughts, like I am. I were doing that I like, that inspired me, I COULD LIVE All the time I was fordly sure that I help to people: organizing events, protecting their rights, promoting their activities, visiting veterans of the Great Patriotic War, creating projects for young students. Actually, THEY WERE HELPING ME. They were giving me pills for normal life, feeding, growing up, supporting and stimulating the growth of passionarity and passion for all these years. I waked up in the mornings and knew my sense of life. Where it is? It's in full, unpaid giving yourself to the environment. In caring about needed people, in love to your hobby and activity, in continious moving and projects, is available to ameliorate this planet. Volunteering has recovered me. I found my mission on the Earth, stopped believing that being uncomfortable is wrong, that thinking differently is forbidden and exist outside the system unavailable. I started to risk, to implement my enthusiasm, to feel necessity. I'm a bad clerk, but I can generete ideas. And I am sure that one of them will truly change everything. Time. Knowledge. Freedom. Skills and support. And you'll see all by your own: неизлечимых болезней don't exist, and unsolving troubles especially.