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In addition to your full time job, you are taking 15 hour Computer Science course. You now find that you cannot continue with the course.

In addition to your full time job, you are taking 15 hour Computer Science course. You now find that you cannot continue with the course. Nr08d
Dear Mr. Franklin, Hope all is well at your end! As you know that I am working full time. I get up at 8am and my office starts at 10am. While the office hours are from 10am to 7pm but due to this pandemic, I am expected to work late. I do not even het time to prepare dinner and have to sleep with a glass of milk. Though, in the starting of the course, I thought I would be able to continue but it is getting really difficult now. This job is really important and I will not be able to give time to the Computer Science course. It would be really great if I can withdraw my admission till I have some time for this course. Also, please let me know if I can get my fees back that I had deposited for full 15 hour course or will it be adjusted further. Thanks & Regards,
Dear Mr. Franklin,

Hope all is well at your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
!

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
you know that I am working full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up at 8am and my office
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
at 10am. While the office hours are from 10am to 7pm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to this pandemic, I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to work late. I do not even
Possible spelling mistake found.
het
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to prepare dinner and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sleep with a glass of milk.

Though, in the starting of the course, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
I would be able to continue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is getting
really
difficult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. This job is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and I will not be able to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to the Computer Science course.

It would be
really
great if I can withdraw my admission till I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for this course.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know if I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
my fees back that I had deposited for full 15 hour course or will it
be adjusted
further
.

Thanks & Regards,

IELTS letter In addition to your full time job, you are taking 15 hour Computer Science course. You now find that you cannot continue with the course.

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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