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I can't decide whether to buy a new bicycle from a shop or on the Internet. Where do you think I should buy it? It is better to buy some things from shops? Do you buy things on the Internet?

I can't decide whether to buy a new bicycle from a shop or on the Internet. Where do you think I should buy it? It is better to buy some things from shops? Do you buy things on the Internet? QKoyX
Dear Tom How are you? I hope you are fine. I was very happy when I got a letter from you. Please forgive the delay in writing. I've been so busy. I know you can't decide whether to buy a new bicycle from a shop or on the Internet. I was wonderful to hear from you. If I were you, I would buy from a shop. Because it it very good! I can buy many type bicycle new. In here, the prices are very fair, the service also friendly and quick. At shops have many program sales so I can save my money. I often go there with my father. He is good at choosing a bicycle for me and it is very suitable. The bicycle very useful to me. It helps me go to school, play sport, . . . I really like it. Do you want meet me on Sunday? You can see it and we will go to coffee together. I'm glad. If you tell me about it in the next letter. I look forward to your reply Love Lilly
Dear Tom

How are you? I hope you are fine. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a letter from you.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
forgive the delay in writing. I've been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy. I know you can't decide whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
from a shop or on the Internet.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was wonderful to hear from you.

If I were you, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from a shop.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
It seems you either mean "it is", "if it", "it" or there is a comma missing: "it, it".
it it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
! I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
type
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
new. In here, the prices are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
, the service
also
friendly and quick. At shops have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
program sales
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can save my money. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go there with my father. He is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
for me and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
suitable. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful to me. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me go to school, play sport
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
I
really
like it. Do you want
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
me on Sunday? You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
we will go to coffee together.

I'm glad.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me about it in the
next
letter. I look forward to your reply

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Love


Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Lilly

IELTS letter I can't decide whether to buy a new bicycle from a shop or on the Internet. Where do you think I should buy it? It is better to buy some things from shops? Do you buy things on the Internet?

Letter
  American English
3 paragraphs
182 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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