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I am very much interested in Sustainability Energy (M.Eng.) program at Carleton University. I was really impressed with the course outline as detailed in the University website.

I am very much interested in Sustainability Energy (M. Eng. ) program at Carleton University. I was really impressed with the course outline as detailed in the University website. ljqOJ
Dear Sir/Madam, I am very much interested in Sustainability Energy (M. Eng. ) program at Carleton University. I was really impressed with the course outline as detailed in the University website. However, I fell short on the admission requirement been that I graduated with a GPA of 2. 73 in Mechanical Engineering from a Nigerian University in 2001. I have over 19+ years of working experience working as a project engineer on CAPEX projects in the oil and gas sector of Nigeria. Over these past 19 years, I have had the opportunity of working with oil servicing companies and international oil companies like Shell and Total. I believe I have a wealth of knowledge and experience to bring to this program Please advise me if my years of experience could bridge this gap. I am currently working on an offshore design, fabrication and installation project with Total Nigeria. I will like to know if I stand a chance of getting admission with my current status. I will also appreciate if you can throw more light on the duration of the program including every other important thing I need to know.
Dear Sir/Madam,

I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much interested in Sustainability Energy (
Consider using a more common abbreviation of this university degree.
M. Eng.
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
program at Carleton University. I was
really
impressed with the course outline as detailed in the University website.

However
, I fell short on the admission requirement been that I graduated with a GPA of 2. 73 in Mechanical Engineering from a Nigerian University in 2001. I have over 19+ years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
as a project engineer on CAPEX projects in the oil and gas sector of Nigeria.

Over these past 19 years, I have had the opportunity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with oil servicing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and international oil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like Shell and Total. I believe I have a wealth of knowledge and experience to bring to this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
program


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
advise me if my years of experience could bridge this gap.

I am
currently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on an offshore design, fabrication and installation project with Total Nigeria.

I
Did you mean "would"?
will
like to know if I stand a chance of getting admission with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
status.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
will
also
appreciate if you can throw more light on the duration of the program including every other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing I need to know.
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IELTS letter I am very much interested in Sustainability Energy (M. Eng. ) program at Carleton University. I was really impressed with the course outline as detailed in the University website.

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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