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How to advice Granny about her new phone

How to advice Granny about her new phone jdqdw
Hi Granny! I am so happy that you have discovered all the opportunities and the new functions we can done with the new devices. But please let me explain how can we improve our communication with this new opportunities. First of all, the way to exchange the message between us has become too fast and it is very difficult to follow all the information we received many time. So, to better send message and to avoid some important information flow, I think that we are to the use the honest full information. Actually, we can send the funny videos, animated postcard only in our free time. For example, n Sunday when I am not. . . In the end, when you send a voice message to me, could you please anticipate the argumenting right message, if I can't listen it in time, I learned the information as well. In the end, I would like to send you that it is a personal satisfaction to be able to teach you all of the new functions of the phone. This new way to that you can use to communicate to me.
Hi Granny! I am
so
happy that you have discovered all the opportunities and the
new
functions we can
done
with the
new
devices.
But
please
let
me
explain
how can we
improve
our communication with this
new
opportunities.
First of all
, the way to exchange the
message
between us has become too
fast
and it is
very
difficult to follow all the
information
we received
many time
.
So
, to better
send
message
and to avoid
some
important
information
flow, I
think
that we are to the
use
the honest full
information
. Actually, we can
send
the
funny
videos, animated postcard
only
in our free time.
For example
, n Sunday when I am not.
.
.
In the
end
, when you
send
a voice
message
to me, could you
please
anticipate the
argumenting
right
message
, if I can't listen it in time, I learned the
information
as well
. In the
end
, I would like to
send
you that it is a personal satisfaction to be able to teach you
all of the
new
functions of the phone. This
new
way to that you can
use
to communicate to me.
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IELTS letter How to advice Granny about her new phone

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
189 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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