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For the past year you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter • state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this • give details of how you have benefited from the club • explain why you want to leave

For the past year you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter • state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this • give details of how you have benefited from the club • explain why you want to leave AK53
Dear sir/madam, I am Derik Johnson. I am writing this letter to inform you that I want to withdraw my membership from your club. Sir, I have joined the green health club before 2 years to keep my-self healthy. My belonging is to premium category in this club and I have paid the amount 1, 00, 000 through my visa debit card in April 2019. Since, I have participated in the fitness curriculum in health club I have reduced 25 pounds of weight. Moreover, my cholesterol and diabetic level has also descended by following diet and exercises advised by Mr. harry, a physiotherapist, in this club. However, I have to discontinue this integration now onwards due to the fact that my physician has advised me to lessen muscular stress by doing less physical activities as these over stretching are making my heart weaker. Consequently, he advised me to do some basics workout. I hope you would understand my dilemma and will help me to discontinue this membership. Looking forward for reply from your side. Yours faithfully, Derik Johnson
Dear sir/madam,

I am
Possible spelling mistake found.
Derik
Johnson. I am writing this letter to inform you that I want to withdraw my membership from your club.

Sir, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the green health club
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
2 years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
my-self healthy. My belonging is to premium category in this club and I have paid the amount 1, 00, 000 through my visa debit card in April 2019.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
, I have participated in the fitness curriculum in health club I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
25 pounds
of weight.
Moreover
, my cholesterol and diabetic level has
also
descended by following diet and exercises advised by Mr. harry, a physiotherapist, in this club.

However
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
discontinue this integration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
onwards due to the fact that my physician has advised me to lessen muscular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
by doing less physical activities as these over stretching are making my heart weaker.
Consequently
, he advised me to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basics workout. I hope you would understand my dilemma and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to discontinue this membership.

Looking forward for reply from your side.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Derik
Johnson
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IELTS letter For the past year you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter • state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this • give details of how you have benefited from the club • explain why you want to leave

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • For the past year you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter • state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this • give details of how you have benefited from the club • explain why you want to leave