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Formal Letter.Application letter

Formal Letter.Application letter 1JJX
Dear Sir and Madam I am very interested in your advertisement in today's edition of local newspaper "Today " and I should like to apply to be a member of Ipeteka. I am thirty three years old and obtained a degree in International business in Diplomacy University in 2006. I am presently working as an international business manager in the department at the Sky where I have been working for the last seven years. I addition to this I participate in work of business course. I am an enthusiastic and energetic employee and I feel that well qualified for this job. Yours sincerely Yasmina Kamal
Dear Sir and Madam I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interested in your advertisement in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's edition of local newspaper
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
and I should like to apply to be a member of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ipeteka
. I am
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
thirty three
years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and obtained a degree in International business in Diplomacy University in 2006. I am
presently
working as an international business manager in the department at the Sky where I have been working for the last seven years.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
addition to this I participate in work of business course.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am an enthusiastic and energetic employee and I feel that well qualified for this job. Yours
sincerely
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yasmina
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Kamal
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IELTS letter Formal Letter.Application letter

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
104 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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