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Formal Letter.Application letter

Formal Letter.Application letter 1JJX

Dear Sir and Madam I am very interested in your advertisement in today's edition of local newspaper "Today " and I should like to apply to be a member of Ipeteka. I am thirty three years old and obtained a degree in International business in Diplomacy University in 2006. I am presently working as an international business manager in the department at the Sky where I have been working for the last seven years. I addition to this I participate in work of business course. I am an enthusiastic and energetic employee and I feel that well qualified for this job. Yours sincerely Yasmina Kamal

Dear Sir and Madam I am This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:extremelyimmenselysupremelysuperb
very
 interested in your advertisement in This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :this day and agenowadays
today
's edition of local newspaper Use a smart opening quote here: "“".“
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :this day and agenowadays
Today
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbolapply
" 
and I should like to apply to be a member of Possible spelling mistake found.PeterPetePetersPetraPeekPeeks
Ipeteka
. I am This word is normally spelled with hyphen.thirty-three
thirty three
 years This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:ancientagedmature
old
 and obtained a degree in International business in Diplomacy University in 2006. I am presently
 working as an international business manager in the department at the Sky where I have been working for the last seven years. Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
 addition to this I participate in work of business course. Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
 am an enthusiastic and energetic employee and I feel that well qualified for this job. Yours sincerely
Possible spelling mistake found.YasminYasmine
Yasmina
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphKamal.Kamal!Kamal?Kamal:Kamal,Kamal;
Kamal

IELTS letter Formal Letter.Application letter

Letter

American English

1 paragraphs

104 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
?
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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