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find someone/ a place in your community that needs help. what are the problems of this person / this place ? what do you think you can do to help? Make a plan.

find someone/ a place in your community that needs help. what are the problems of this person / this place? what do you think you can do to help? Make a plan. kxlaK
Hello everyone. Welcome to the presentation of (Group. . ) about the project of unit 4- for a better community. In Vietnam, there are many places where people's life is so poor and miserable. Let's take Son La, Thanh Hoa, Nghe An as examples of three slowest developing provinces in Vietnam. Now, taking a closer look at life in those provinces, we can see that they haven't made considerable progress in economy, education, public security, et cetera. To be more specific, the majority of children and adults there are illiterate; due to the lack of access to clean water, electricity, technology, medication, they have to work really hard to feed the whole family, but still face many health problems. They are mountainous regions, so floods, droughts, hurricane and landslides pose a big threat to people's lives. Moreover, because people live there are mainly ethnic minority, they lack much knowledge about criminology. As they are totally gullible about that, they may be the victims of the crimes, such as human trafficking, drug trafficking, sexual abuse, so on. To help improve the situations, government has established many policies to promote social life, such as reducing the fees for insurance for industrial accidents, creating jobs for workers, raising funds, etc. Besides, many volunteer organizations are enthusiastic in helping them. They are also cared by peoples in every corner of Vietnam. Children, teenagers, adults, and the elderly are more conscious of this and have made a great contribution to the progress of this, by raising funds, providing goods, and foods, etc. We can see that clearly in the events of floods and droughts, which happen every single year in those provinces. To myself and everyone here, we are lucky that we were born under good conditions and loved by family. We should also share this love to people in worse situations than us. Following Vietnamese honorable tradition, people have shared their love with others, especially in the Convid-19 pandemic, many creative inventions have been made to help the community, such as the rice ATM, free meals, etc. We, the young generation, should follow this tradition by taking part in volunteer activities. And who says that volunteer activities are time-consuming and unnecessary. It is really beneficial and important to ourselves and the society. We can improve our soft skills, such as communication skills, life skills, etc. We make new. friends and widen the relationships. And we can bring happiness to ourselves and people around us. The society will also be better due to that. That is the end of our presentation. Thank you for watching and listening
Hello everyone. Welcome to the presentation of (Group.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Loose punctuation mark.
)
about the project of unit 4- for a better community.

In Vietnam, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
poor and miserable.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's take Son La, Thanh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hoa
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nghe
An as examples of three slowest developing provinces in Vietnam.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, taking a closer look at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in those provinces, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that they haven't made considerable progress in economy, education, public security,
Possible spelling mistake found.
et cetera
. To be more specific, the majority of children and adults there are illiterate; due to the lack of access to clean water, electricity, technology, medication, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to feed the whole family,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems. They are mountainous regions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
floods, droughts, hurricane and landslides pose a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
threat to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there are
mainly
ethnic minority, they lack much knowledge about criminology. As they are
totally
gullible about that, they may be the victims of the crimes, such as human trafficking, drug trafficking, sexual abuse,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situations,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has established
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
policies to promote social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, such as reducing the fees for insurance for industrial accidents, creating jobs for workers, raising funds, etc.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
volunteer organizations are enthusiastic in helping them. They are
also
cared by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
in every corner of Vietnam. Children,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, adults, and the elderly are more conscious of this and have made a great contribution to the progress of this, by raising funds, providing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, and foods, etc. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
clearly
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of floods and droughts, which happen every single year in those provinces.

To myself and everyone here, we are lucky that we
were born
under
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
conditions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
by family. We should
also
share this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in worse situations than us. Following Vietnamese honorable tradition,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have shared their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with others,
especially
in the Convid-19 pandemic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
creative inventions have
been made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the community, such as the rice ATM, free meals, etc. We, the young generation, should follow this tradition by taking part in volunteer activities. And who says that volunteer activities are time-consuming and unnecessary. It is
really
beneficial and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to ourselves and the society. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, etc. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
friends
and widen the relationships. And we can bring happiness to ourselves and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around us. The society will
also
be better due to that.

That is
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of our presentation. Thank you for watching and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
listening
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IELTS letter find someone/ a place in your community that needs help. what are the problems of this person / this place? what do you think you can do to help? Make a plan.

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
431 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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