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fast fashion effects on socity

fast fashion effects on socity GJ0xx
These day environment faced with lots of problems originated from our behavior, one of these problems is fast fashion which shows our self- indulgence than nature and our future generation. Environmental problems, wasting resources, air pollution are not the only problems that stem from fast fashion I think creating a new attitude, especially in youth and teenagers, in which we think that our acceptance in the community has its direct connection with what we wear is the most dangerous effect of fast fashion. Nowadays, most of the people wants to wear like celebrities and act like them whilst celebrities appear in the social media with different colorful and luxurious clothes each time, most of the families couldn't buy new clothes due to the economic problems in society so they became frustrated and depressed and sometimes in acute conditions leads to suicide. In addition the other disadvantage of this new attitude is consumerism. There are lots of people who are eager to buy new clothes why there is no space in their closet and interesting thing for some of them is they get a loan to buy clothes. And this desire is the root of lots of troubles. For example, my aunt is one of those people and she had a lot of argument in his family because of spending much money on her clothes and finally she divorced from my uncle. However, fast-fashion sympathizers have their own reason to agree with this action, in my opinion fast fashion disadvantages overcomes to its advantages in all aspects. People who care about their environment and their family should pay more attention to fast fashion.
Did you mean "this day" or "These days"?
These day
environment faced with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
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problems
originated from our behavior, one of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
our self- indulgence than nature and our future generation. Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, wasting resources, air pollution are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that stem from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
attitude,
especially
in youth and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, in which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that our acceptance in the community has its direct connection with what we wear is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
fashion.

Nowadays, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wants to wear like celebrities and act like them whilst celebrities appear in the social media with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
colorful and luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
each time, most of the families couldn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
due to the economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they became frustrated and depressed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
in acute conditions leads to suicide.

In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
the other disadvantage of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
attitude is consumerism. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are eager to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
why there is no space in their closet and interesting thing for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them is they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a loan to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. And this desire is the root of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of troubles.
For example
, my aunt is one of those
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
she had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of argument in his family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of spending much money on her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
and
finally
she divorced from my uncle.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-fashion sympathizers have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this action, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
disadvantages overcomes to its advantages in all aspects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who care about their environment and their family should pay more attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
.
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IELTS letter fast fashion effects on socity

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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