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Email for entering into competition

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Dear Sir/ Madam, It’s a pleasure for me writing this letter, recently I had visited the new sports center in the town. It was an amazing experience with new ideas for a gym. Firstly, the equipment in the gym was awesome, each and every weights were arranged in a systematic order for easy access. The ambiance of the sports center was like an outdoor gym with pleasant music, we can do our exercises peacefully. They are providing a lot of facilities like pool, cafeteria and also first hundred visitors with a complimentary membership for one month. I will recommend for everyone to join and stay healthy. It always a big privileged for me to be part of and contributing my ideas to your magazine and encourage others Yours faithfully Sandeep
Dear Sir/ Madam,

It’s a pleasure for me writing this letter, recently I had visited the new sports center in the town. It was an amazing experience with new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for a gym.

Firstly
, the equipment in the gym was awesome, each and every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "weight"?
weights
were arranged
in a systematic order for easy access. The ambiance of the sports center was like an outdoor gym with pleasant music, we can do our exercises
peacefully
. They are providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
facilities like pool, cafeteria and
also
first
hundred visitors with a complimentary membership for one month. I will recommend for everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
and stay healthy.

It
A verb is probably missing after 'always'.
always a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
privileged for me to be part of and contributing my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to your magazine and encourage others

Yours
faithfully


Sandeep
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IELTS letter Email for entering into competition

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
129 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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