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Email for entering into competition

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Dear Sir/ Madam, It’s a pleasure for me writing this letter, recently I had visited the new sports center in the town. It was an amazing experience with new ideas for a gym. Firstly, the equipment in the gym was awesome, each and every weights were arranged in a systematic order for easy access. The ambiance of the sports center was like an outdoor gym with pleasant music, we can do our exercises peacefully. They are providing a lot of facilities like pool, cafeteria and also first hundred visitors with a complimentary membership for one month. I will recommend for everyone to join and stay healthy. It always a big privileged for me to be part of and contributing my ideas to your magazine and encourage others Yours faithfully Sandeep

Dear Sir/ Madam,

It’s a pleasure for me writing this letter, recently I had visited the new sports center in the town. It was an amazing experience with new This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :thoughtsconceptsnotions
ideas
 for a gym.

Firstly
, the equipment in the gym was awesome, each and every The noun should be probably in the singular form: "weight"?weight
weights
were arranged
 in a systematic order for easy access. The ambiance of the sports center was like an outdoor gym with pleasant music, we can do our exercises peacefully
. They are providing This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
a lot of
 facilities like pool, cafeteria and also
first
 hundred visitors with a complimentary membership for one month. I will recommend for everyone to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :consolidatefuse
join
 and stay healthy.

It A verb is probably missing after 'always'.
always a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:hugeenormousgiganticvast
big
 privileged for me to be part of and contributing my This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :thoughtsconceptsnotions
ideas
 to your magazine and encourage others

Yours faithfully


Sandeep

IELTS letter Email for entering into competition

Letter

American English

6 paragraphs

129 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
?
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
?
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.5

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Labels Descriptions

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