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Discus this both views and give your opinion

Discus this both views and give your opinion keB9M
People, these days, have possiblty to choose suitable ways for their life. Whereas majority individuals prefer get a place at univorsity to giarantee a job. Persinally, i agree with the second view that devotion to work and gain expariment. On the one hand, some people say that working at a good level is requires highly skilled knowladge from people. Thay claim that some professions require skills that can only be acquired through at a university or collage. For example to become a doctor, an endineer, an architect and an advacate a university degree is a most neccassery thing than exparience. Futhermore, in this diffecult life, it is very difficult to find a good job. Howaver higher education is the best way to find ideal job. On the othet hand, I personally believe that who follow that people should find a temporary job after finishing school to breaden their work experience. 21st century 70% of teenegers enroll in colleges on the orders of their parents, while parents pay more attention to the obligation of the state than the interests of their children. If getting a university degree taught you needed to know to succed in life, we would not hear succes stories of drop-out and nongraduates like Steve Jobs, Rachael Roy and Sir Richard Branson. For instance, the cofounder of Facebook Mark Zuckerberk strater his project when he was attendin at Harvard but then dropped out in 2003 in order to complete his project. Eventually, he become one of the richest people. In conclusion, dispite people's varying opinions, I believe that stright into work and get experience is always justifies itself
People
, these days, have
possiblty
to choose suitable ways for their life.
Whereas
majority individuals prefer
get
a place at
univorsity
to
giarantee
a
job
.
Persinally
,
i
agree
with the second view that devotion to work and gain
expariment
.

On the one hand,
some
people
say that working at a
good
level is requires
highly
skilled
knowladge
from
people
.
Thay
claim
that
some
professions require
skills
that can
only
be acquired
through at a university or collage.
For example
to become a doctor, an
endineer
, an architect and an
advacate
a university degree is a most
neccassery
thing than
exparience
.
Futhermore
, in this
diffecult
life, it is
very
difficult to find a
good
job
.
Howaver
higher education is the best way to find ideal job.

On the
othet
hand, I
personally
believe that who follow that
people
should find a temporary
job
after finishing school to
breaden
their work experience. 21st century 70% of
teenegers
enroll in colleges on the orders of their parents, while parents pay more attention to the obligation of the state than the interests of their children. If getting a university degree taught you needed to know to
succed
in life, we would not hear
succes
stories of drop-out and
nongraduates
like Steve
Jobs
, Rachael Roy and Sir Richard
Branson
.
For instance
, the
cofounder
of Facebook Mark
Zuckerberk
strater
his project when he was
attendin
at Harvard
but
then dropped out in 2003 in order to complete his project.
Eventually
, he become one of the richest
people
.

In conclusion
,
dispite
people
's varying opinions, I believe that
stright
into work and
get
experience is always justifies itself
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IELTS letter Discus this both views and give your opinion

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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