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dicussion debate my received topic

dicussion debate my received topic EL82L
Dear Sir, My name is Duy Ân. I am in grade IEC03 My team includes: - Nguyễn Hà Duy Ân - Lê Thị Huyền Anh - Lê Thế Hoàng Khoa - Phạm Tiến Thành - Trần Minh đông Vy My team had already debate my received topic. After having gotten it, we made enquiries this topic. And we saw that Vaccine Passport is imperative issue that not only Vietnam but also the whole world concern. And this is an opportunity for us to get it and develop it into research for Young Economist competition. In addition, our goal is not only to get this research for our sufficient condition, but also, we want to get to the bottom of this problem and obtain a prize. After the long hard discussing time, my team separates into 2 ways. And we enclose 2 ways to conduct research below. Besides desire to carry out this research, we also have a number of question and barricade. And we really need a supporter as well as helper and me us comments. And I write this E-mail representing for my group to get your association. And we believe that If we can do research under your association, we will make clearly this research.
Dear Sir,

My name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Duy
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ân
. I am in grade IEC03

My team includes:
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nguyễn
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hà
Possible spelling mistake found.
Duy
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ân


Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lê
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thị
Possible spelling mistake found.
Huyền
Possible spelling mistake found.
Anh


Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lê
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thế
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hoàng
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khoa


Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phạm
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tiến
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thành


Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Possible spelling mistake found.
Trần
Possible spelling mistake found.
Minh
Possible spelling mistake found.
đông
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vy


My team had already
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "debated".
debate
my received topic. After having gotten it, we made
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
this topic. And we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
that Vaccine Passport is imperative issue that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Vietnam
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the whole world concern. And this is an opportunity for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it and develop it into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
for Young Economist competition.
In addition
, our goal is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
for our sufficient condition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, we want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the bottom of this problem and obtain a prize.

After the long
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
discussing time, my team separates into 2 ways. And we enclose 2 ways to conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
below.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Besides
desire to carry out this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, we
also
have a number of question and barricade. And we
really
need a supporter
as well
as helper and me us comments.

And I write this E-mail representing for my group to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
your association.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
And
we believe that If we can do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
under your association, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
clearly
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
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IELTS letter dicussion debate my received topic

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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