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Correcting information about the town which is incorrect

Correcting information about the town which is incorrect pKKp3

Dear Sir or Madam The latest edition of your travel magazine included an article about Cambridge, but this contained incorrect information. The writer described the University of Cambridge as being the oldest in the world whereas in fact the oldest university in the English-speaking world is in Oxford. The University of Cambridge was founded in 1209, but Oxford was known to have existed in 1096. A magazine such as yours has an international reputation and is extremely influential with travel companies and individuals alike. It is essential that any information published should be accurate and reliable and I was genuinely surprised that the facts had not been checked prior to publication. I feel that the least the magazine can do is to publish a correction and an apology in next month's magazine. I would also urge you to ensure that all factual information is thoroughly checked before publication. Yours faithfully. Alan Watson

Dear Sir or Madam

The latest edition of your travel You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpamphletbookletjournalmanualdailybrochure
magazine
 included an article about Cambridge, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 this contained incorrect information. The writer This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :characterizedportrayed
described
 the University of Cambridge as being the oldest in the world whereas in fact the oldest university in the English-speaking world is in Oxford. Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
 University of Cambridge was founded
 in 1209, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 Oxford was known
 to have existed in 1096.

A You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpamphletbookletjournalmanualdailybrochure
magazine
 such as yours has an international reputation and is extremely
 influential with travel This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :enterprisescorporations
companies
 and individuals alike. It is essential that any information published should be accurate and Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).reliable, and
reliable and
 I was genuinely
 surprised that the facts had not been This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :monitored
checked
 prior to publication.

I feel that the least the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpamphletbookletjournalmanualdailybrochure
magazine
 can do is to publish a correction and an apology in next
 month's You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpamphletbookletjournalmanualdailybrochure
magazine
. I would also
 urge you to ensure that all factual information is thoroughly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :monitored
checked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 publication.

Yours faithfully
.

Alan Watson