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Complaining about bad article in a newspaper

Complaining about bad article in a newspaper V0xkQ
Dear Sir, I am Daria, a frequent reader of your newspaper and I write this letter to comment you complaining about a new TV program called “Air Crash Investigation” that is shown on National Geographic channel. In your report you’ve responded quite unconfident and unreasoned about this program. That’s why I want to disprove your point of view. Firstly, you’ve said that some information can be distorted or hushed up for a number of reasons, however in disclaimer it is reported that everything had been taken from eyewitness accounts and has been investigated. Moreover, in every episode there is some preserved documentary footage consequently, all information is true, finally, for what reason would they lie? As for me, I’m really fond of science, especially big machines like planes or ships. That’s why I used to watch this program since it has been released. From my point of view, after viewing these investigations people shouldn’t be afraid of flights, on the opposite, they show that although all laws and technologies of safety were written in blood, nowadays airplane is the securest type of transport. So, I would be very grateful if you could rewrite or republish that article about “Air Crash Investigation” in a positive way. I am sure that the majority of people will agree with me. Hoping for your reasonable consideration. Yours faithfully, Daria.
Dear Sir,

I am Daria, a frequent reader of your newspaper and I write this letter to comment you complaining about a new TV program called “Air Crash Investigation” that
is shown
on National Geographic channel. In your report you’ve responded quite unconfident and
unreasoned
about this program. That’s why I want to disprove your point of view.

Firstly
, you’ve said that
some
information can
be distorted
or hushed up for a number of reasons,
however
in disclaimer it
is reported
that everything had
been taken
from eyewitness accounts and has
been investigated
.
Moreover
, in every episode there is
some
preserved documentary footage
consequently
, all information is true,
finally
, for what reason would they lie?

As for me, I’m
really
fond of science,
especially
big
machines like
planes
or ships. That’s why I
used
to
watch
this program since it has
been released
. From my point of view, after viewing these investigations
people
shouldn’t be afraid of flights, on the opposite, they
show
that although all laws and technologies of safety
were written
in blood, nowadays airplane is the securest type of transport.

So
, I would be
very
grateful if you could rewrite or republish that article about “Air Crash Investigation” in a
positive
way. I am sure that the majority of
people
will
agree
with me.

Hoping for your reasonable consideration.

Yours
faithfully
,

Daria.
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IELTS letter Complaining about bad article in a newspaper

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
225 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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