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birthday party and gift from best friend

birthday party and gift from best friend r87Pp
Dear Sarah, Now that the weekend of my birthday party is over and you have hopefully arrived home safely, I just wanted to let you know again how much your birthday present means to me. I don’t think I’ve ever received something quite as original as this lovely, hand-made photo album with photos and notes reminding me of our childhood. I think that these memories have helped us stick together and I hope that, although we live a long way apart now, I can add to this album every year when we see each other. With the stationery collection that my mother gave me and the calligraphy set I got from my dad, I can easily continue to add to this work of art! It’s sad that you could only be there for the party and not for my actual birthday. I went canoeing with my parents and my sister at Barley Creek, the lovely lake resort that we often used to go to when we were young. Do you remember the tall trees and the calm atmosphere there? Well, everything is still as it used to be. Even the castle restaurant is still there, where I topped the day off with a fancy dinner. What a memorable day it was! I hope you can be there next time. Lots of love, Amanda
Dear Sarah,

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
that the weekend of my birthday party is over and you have
hopefully
arrived home
safely
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you know again how much your birthday present means to me. I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I’ve ever received something quite as original as this lovely, hand-made photo album with photos and notes reminding me of our childhood. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these memories have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us stick together and I hope that, although we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a long way apart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to this album every year when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
each other. With the stationery collection that my mother gave me and the calligraphy set I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
from my dad, I can
easily
continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to this work of art!

It’s sad that you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be there for the party and not for my actual birthday. I went canoeing with my parents and my sister at Barley Creek, the lovely lake resort that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to go to when we were young. Do you remember the tall trees and the calm atmosphere there? Well, everything is
still
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be. Even the castle restaurant is
still
there, where I topped the day off with a fancy dinner. What a memorable day it was!

I hope you can be there
next
time.

Lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
,

Amanda

IELTS letter birthday party and gift from best friend

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
222 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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