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asking council not to close leisure center

asking council not to close leisure center DYNYE
Dear sir or Madam, I am writing to express my sad feeling about the news spreading through the neighborhood, as the sport and leisure center is going to be closed soon. Both physical and mental health are important aspects of social living, and local council is responsible of them. Sport and leisure center is one of the major venues in developing physical and mental health. As an example of the whole community, I can mention my family. All my family members use Sport and leisure center for different purposes. My parents use there to create or join teams for morning sports. My brother uses there for individual activities like body building. Even my little sister has been registered for painting classes. Considering mentioned points, shutting down Sport and leisure center can make some significant troubles. Young people in the neighborhood, need to spent some time to navigate other areas to attend gyms, which also increase local traffic. But about older people, it may not be that possible, so it leads them to stay most of their time at home. I would appreciate it if you investigate more on the decision, and consider all the consequences. Yours faithfully Amir Khamesipour
Dear sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my sad feeling about the news spreading through the neighborhood, as the
sport
and
leisure
center is going to
be closed
soon
.

Both physical and mental health are
important
aspects of social living, and local council is
responsible of
them.
Sport
and
leisure
center is one of the major venues in developing physical and mental health.

As an example of the whole community, I can mention my family. All my family members
use
Sport
and
leisure
center for
different
purposes. My parents
use
there to create or
join
teams for morning
sports
. My brother
uses
there for individual activities like body building. Even my
little
sister has
been registered
for painting classes.

Considering mentioned points, shutting down
Sport
and
leisure
center can
make
some
significant troubles. Young
people
in the neighborhood, need
to spent
some
time to navigate other areas to attend gyms, which
also
increase local traffic.
But
about older
people
, it may not be that possible,
so
it leads them to stay most of their time at home.

I would appreciate it if you investigate more on the decision, and consider all the consequences.

Yours
faithfully


Amir
Khamesipour
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IELTS letter asking council not to close leisure center

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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