Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Applying for Performance Monitor Specialist Position

Applying for Performance Monitor Specialist Position gADw1
Dear Sir, I recently learned of the Expert Performance Monitor position opening on Bamboo Capital Group through my college friend. I am writing this email to apply for the position. I have a deep passion for fields related to Renewable Energy. While in University, I would like to be exposed to a real working environment. And I did an internship for about 6 months when I was in year 2. Here, I have experience in designing and installing Rooftop Solar Panels. At University, I have been exposed to work-related subjects such as Scada, Calculation for rooftop solar, MicroGrid, . . . In addition, I am active and enthusiastic. About the English Certificate, because of the complicated translation situation, I can't register for the actual exam. But I took the test online organized by the English center, resulting in over 650 Toeic points in the last 2 tests. If I am accepted into the company, I will learn and do what takes to get a job done well even under pressure or on the far mission. My resume is attached. If I can provide you with any further information on my background, please let me know. I look forward to the opportunity to discuss my qualifications in more detail. Thank for your consideration. Sincerely, Phan Thanh Sieu.
Dear Sir,

I recently learned of the Expert Performance Monitor position opening on Bamboo Capital Group through my college friend. I am writing this email to apply for the position.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have a deep passion for fields related to Renewable Energy. While in University, I would like to
be exposed
to a real working environment. And I did an internship for about 6 months when I was in year 2. Here, I have experience in designing and installing Rooftop Solar Panels. At University, I have
been exposed
to work-related subjects such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Scada
, Calculation for rooftop solar, MicroGrid
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
In addition
, I am active and enthusiastic. About the English Certificate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the complicated translation situation, I can't register for the actual exam.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I took the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
online organized by the English center, resulting in over 650
Possible spelling mistake found.
Toeic
points in the last 2
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
. If I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, I will learn and do what takes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job done well even under pressure or on the far mission.

My resume
is attached
. If I can provide you with any
further
information on my background,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know.

I look forward to the opportunity to discuss my qualifications in more detail. Thank for your consideration.

Sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Phan
Thanh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sieu
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS letter Applying for Performance Monitor Specialist Position

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
216 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    My profile for the Student Status website
    Hello! My name is Htet Shine Win. My English name is Nicky Brown. My friends call me Nicky Brown. My friends don't call me By my Burmese name. I don't have a girlfriend. I'm a single but most girl think that I have a girlfriend. I'm waiting for attending for university. I am 18 year old. I have a me...
  • 6.5band
    Write a letter to a business man for job
    Dear Mike, My name is Hossein, we have met each other last week on flight from Vancouver to Toronto. As you may recall, we were seated next to each other and chatted all the way from departure to destination. In the middle of chat, you favored me and said that you may have a job for me in your res...
  • 6.5band
    A complain letter to local council
    Dear Sir or Madam, I want to complain about garbage collection system in local community. As you may have noticed, there have been some flaws in this matter for a relatively long time. The rubbish bins all over the neighborhood gets full very fast and collection truck come too late. Hence, there i...
  • 5band
    aks to watch my dog on holiday
    Dear Adam, How is going? Hope you are superb. As you know, you owe me one, and that is the reason I am writing this letter. Next month i am travelling to New Zealand on holiday and It would last about a week. During these time I need to your assistance for my dog Ralph. All you have to do is ma...
  • 6.5band
    Successful individuals have to face the same obstacles and challenges in life
    Dear myself, You may feel exhausted and bored during this time when you have many tasks to complete, and you may want to quit up. If you continue to strive for achievements, everyone will admire and respect you. When others are more talented and intelligent than you, it is natural to be ashamed. In...
  • 6.5band
    write an email to ask information for scholarship
    Dear Sir/Madam, I’m writing this letter to request more information about a scholarship program offered by your College. I was waiting in anticipation to enroll next year for the much-coveted Diploma in English, but due to unfortunate circumstances, I found myself in financial difficulty. I would...





Get more results for topic:
  • Applying for Performance Monitor Specialist Position