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As a teachers, you would like to take your studends on a field trip to a museum

As a teachers, you would like to take your studends on a field trip to a museum n1WXe
Dear SirWe are student of class 11 b. We need go to museum. I am writing to ask if you would be so kind as to you be so kind as to permit us to visit museum for study purpose. My students are young yet they still have a lot to learn, so I decided to take them to your museum but the museum signs are very expensive. i ask you to lower the price of the museum ticket. Your museum has a long history, my students are interested in history and go to school with excellent grades. I hope you can lower the price of the museum ticket. I looking forward to hearing from you reply as soon as possible. Thank you for your attention. Yours faithfully, Asadbek Ibragimov
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
SirWe
are student of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
11 b. We need go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
. I am writing to ask if you would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
kind as to you be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
kind as to permit us to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
for study purpose. My students are young
yet
they
still
have a lot to learn,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I decided to take them to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
signs are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
ask you to lower the price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
ticket. Your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
has a long history, my students
are interested
in history and go to school with excellent grades. I hope you can lower the price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
ticket.
Did you mean "I'm looking", "I am looking", or "I was looking"?
I looking
forward to hearing from you reply as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. Thank you for your attention. Yours
faithfully
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Asadbek
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Ibragimov
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IELTS letter As a teachers, you would like to take your studends on a field trip to a museum

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
129 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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