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Applying for work at museum

Applying for work at museum k63yN
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing with regard to your advertisement looking for part-time volunteers interested in working at the National Museum. The issue that concerns me the most is people's ignorance toward the value of their ancient history. It would be a great opportunity to work voluntarily, as the museum guide, and inform visitors of the importance of the past events. Fortunately, the museum is very close to my apartment and I will not pay for commuting. Considering my enthusiasm for cultural activities, I assure you that I would be a perfect candidate for this position. I have recently passed a course in tourism and have my certificate. My teaching experience has also provided me exceptional management skills, as they are necessary for a professional leader. Working as a part-time tutor during the week, I would appreciate it if you could allow me to do my duty as the museum guide intern three days a week, Monday through Wednesday, from 8am to 2pm. I will be available to start as soon as the beginning of the next work week. I am looking forward to receiving your response. Yours faithfully, Aida Daneshmand
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing with regard to your advertisement looking for part-time volunteers interested in working at the National Museum.

The issue that concerns me the most is
people
's ignorance toward the value of their ancient history. It would be a great opportunity to work
voluntarily
, as the museum guide, and inform visitors of the importance of the past
events
.
Fortunately
, the museum is
very
close to my apartment and I will not pay for commuting.

Considering my enthusiasm for cultural activities, I assure you that I would be a perfect candidate for this position. I have recently passed a course in tourism and have my certificate. My teaching experience has
also
provided me exceptional management
skills
, as they are necessary for a professional leader.

Working as a part-time tutor during the week, I would appreciate it if you could
allow
me to do my duty as the museum guide intern three days a week, Monday through Wednesday, from 8am to 2pm. I will be available to
start
as
soon
as the beginning of the
next
work week.

I am looking forward to receiving your response.

Yours
faithfully
,

Aida
Daneshmand
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IELTS letter Applying for work at museum

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
192 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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