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Application letter to Hotel manager

Application letter to Hotel manager wmOV3
Dear Sir or Madam, I would like to apply for the position mentioned in your advertisement for the part-time job over the Summer. I am 24 years old, I am currently studying at University and I am looking for job to supplement my work experience and skills to add to my qualification. It is my long term carier goal to become a Hotel Manager and I hope to feel that an excellent way. Last year I worked as waiter at the restaurant. Consequently, I had a good deal of experience about the work. Because of the time did not finish early, I leave it. I am sociable and responsible. Besides I can serve to foriegners too. I know to speak foriegn languages. If my application has convinced you of my ability, please contact me at 784 35 36. I look forward to hearing from you and thank you for considering my application. Yours Sincerely, Jane Brown.
Dear Sir or Madam, I would like to apply for the position mentioned in your advertisement for the part-time job over the Summer. I am 24 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, I am
currently
studying at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
University and
I am looking for job to supplement my work experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to my qualification. It is my long term
Possible spelling mistake found.
carier
goal to become a Hotel Manager and I hope to feel that an excellent way. Last year I worked as waiter at the restaurant.
Consequently
, I had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deal of experience about the work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the time did not finish early, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
it. I am sociable and responsible.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Besides
I can serve to
Possible spelling mistake found.
foriegners
too. I know to speak
Possible spelling mistake found.
foriegn
languages. If my application has convinced you of my ability,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
contact me at 784 35 36. I look forward to hearing from you and thank you for considering my application. Yours
Sincerely
, Jane Brown.
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IELTS letter Application letter to Hotel manager

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
156 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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